Dear Girl ~Stories~ 27: Ono-D Learns How To Communicate With Cats

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Title: スタジオの向こうで大人たちが真剣な顔で話してた (Sutajio no mukou de otona-tachi ga shinken na kao de hanashiteta / At the other studio, the adults were talking with serious faces)
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Rating: 😀 😀 😀 😀 🙂 (4 & 1/2 out of 5 grins)
ATTENTION!!! Important Note: All the translations below are my own (by Arria Cross). All are labelled “rough translation”, as they did not undergo any professional proofreading and/or editing and may lack literal and/or grammatical accuracy.  I did my best, however, to convey the atmosphere and context of the conversations in this radio show.


This is the 27th episode of Kamiya Hiroshi (神谷浩史) and Ono Daisuke’s (小野大輔) radio show Dear Girl ~Stories~.  I love this episode!  It’s so hilarious.  The 2 hosts begin by introducing themselves in DJ-style.  Then they announce that their next event titled “Lovers Only” has been decided.

HiroC: Why is it “Lovers Only”?
OnoD: Well, “lovers” mean koibito (lovers), right?
HiroC: Oh! You’re so smart!
OnoD: Eh? Eh?!
HiroC: That’s amazing.
OnoD: What is?
HiroC: Common sense dictates that when you hear this title, you’d be like, “Eh? Is this rubber?” (Arria:  the pronunciation of “lovers” in Nihongo is rabaasu, similar to “rubber”)
Both: (laughs)
OnoD: That’s different!
HiroC: People will ask, “Is this whole event where you do rubber-like things?” AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA!
OnoD: This program isn’t that kind of program. Come on now! We can’t have that.
HiroC: But there are so many things in this program that they’re forcing us to do. I’m so scared. It’s really scary!  (Arria:  I bet he’s talking about “Duriangelion”.)
OnoD: So it’s like rather than rabaasu meaning “lovers”, it’s more like gomu-ningen (rubber-person). . . (Arria:  An obvious allusion to my favourite anime ONE PIECE‘s Monkey D. Luffy).
HiroC: It’s like GOMU GOMU NO-!!!
OnoD: Ahahaha!

I just adore this ONE PIECE allusion.  If you’ve been reading my blog for a while now, you may have noticed already that I’m a big fan of ONE PIECE.  I just love it!  Next up, they do the Futsuu Sto Corner (Futsuu Story/Ordinary Story Corner) where they read letters sent by their listeners and discuss them.

Natsumi-san (Listener Letter): HiroC-san, OnoD-san, good evening.
OnoD: Good evening.
Natsumi-san (Listener Letter): I want to stay at a ryokan in Hokkaido, but I’m worried about bears.
(staff laughing in the background)
OnoD: Hmmm. I understand.
Natsumi-san (Listener Letter): What should I do?
OnoD: Eh? That’s it?
HiroC: That’s it.

HiroC: I think that this is such a prejudiced view of Hokkaido. Ahahaha!
OnoD: It’s like everyone thinks that all of Hokkaido are full of bears.
HiroC: Ahahaha! There are lots of bears, so Hokkaido is scary, but she says that she still wants to go there so what should she do? What do you think she should do, OnoD?
OnoD: When she encounters a bear?
HiroC: Yes.
OnoD: Well, there is this. . .where you play dead.
HiroC: I think that’s horrible and won’t work.
OnoD: Ah? You think so?
HiroC: Yeah.
OnoD: So you’ll end up getting beaten up instead?
HiroC: Yeah, you’ll be done for.
OnoD: Aaaah. . .so. . .bear, huh? (pause) They love honey, right?
HiroC: AHAHA! (clapping)
OnoD: That’s why. . .yes, yes.
HiroC: What a good idea you came up with.
OnoD: So I’ll cover myself with honey.
HiroC: Ahaha!
(staff laughing in the background)
HiroC: You say you’ll cover yourself up, but this is Natsumi-san‘s trip we’re talking about. So where do you say you’re going to be?
OnoD: Oh, yes, right. I’ll cover myself and. . .
HiroC: Become the sacrifice?
OnoD: I’ll distract the bear. . .
HiroC: You’ll be like, “Hey, come here!”
OnoD: Yes. I’ll be like, “Come here! The honey’s over here!” Then I’ll run for my life.
HiroC: That won’t do at all because Ono-kun will die. (Arria:  Aaaaw. He’s concerned about OnoD. Kawaii~)

Then they read another letter.

Mamemochi-san (Listener Letter): HiroC-san, OnoD-san, hello.
HiroC: Hello!
Mamemochi-san (Listener Letter): I’m living alone, so I’m wondering what kind of food do you like women to make for you?

HiroC: I’ll be happy with just the fact that a woman is cooking for me.
OnoD: Ooooh.
HiroC: Well, I don’t think that I’m the only one. I think that anyone would be happy, right?
OnoD: But there is also the one from before, right? You know, when you said that you liked “standing shabu-shabu”.
HiroC: I didn’t say that I like it! It can’t be helped that I had to do that. That’s all.
OnoD: But what if a woman told you, “Let’s have standing shabu-shabu today”?
HiroC: That would be lonely.
OnoD: Lonely, right?
HiroC: But no matter what, I think that even with just two people, it would be fun.
OnoD: Well, yeah.

As for OnoD, he said that he likes all kinds of noodles, especially if the woman makes it from scratch.  What a high-maintenance man. (;-◞౪◟-)  But of course, he’s still very funny.  Afterwards, they announce an audition for amateurs to work for animelo.  

Finally, for this episode’s last segment, they do the Sylph Danwashitsu (lit. Sylph Lounge; formely known as Sylph Soudanshitsu).  They introduce a manga by mangaka Imamoto Jionsensei.  HiroC comments that Imamoto-sensei’s name “Jion” is very Chinese.  They read a Futsuu Story Letter sent by Imamoto-sensei, which is formerly called the Nayami Story Corner.  Imamoto-sensei talks something about buying cats, so the hosts discuss about cats.

It has been long-known that HiroC is a big cat lover, with his own Russian Blue he aptly named Nyanko-sensei.  OnoD, on the other hand, openly admits that he’s not very good around cats.  For this reason, the DGS staff gives him something to learn how to communicate with cats. (ΦωΦ)

HiroC: Ta-da! Here’s a Cat (-model) doll!
OnoD: Cat model?
HiroC: Yes. Think of this as a real cat and try to communicate with it.

HiroC: So OnoD’s cat communication skit will now commence. Start!
OnoD: So this is a skit– Ah. Ah. (to the cat doll) What are you doing in this rain?
(staff laughing in the background)
HiroC: Eh? What’s with that situation?
OnoD: There, there.
Cat Doll <(ΦωΦ)>: Meow~
OnoD: Ah! What does this mean?
Cat Doll <(ΦωΦ)>: Meow~
OnoD: There, there. In order to understand cats better, I’ll do this like HiroC. I’ll rub you with my fingers. How is it?
Cat Doll <(ΦωΦ)>: Meow!
OnoD: Oh! What does this sound mean? I don’t understand!
Cat Doll <(ΦωΦ)>: Meow~ Meow~ Meow, meow!
OnoD: Oh, I see. I smell good? I see. You like how I smell? Of course you do. I just rubbed your tummy.
HiroC: No, it hates it.
OnoD: It hates it? I see. I understand. After this, I’ll feed you MAX coffee.
HiroC: Ahaha!
OnoD: It’s sweet, you know.
Cat Doll <(ΦωΦ)>: Meow!
OnoD: Oh!
Cat Doll <(ΦωΦ)>: Meow!
OnoD: Oh! You’re happy? You like it?
Cat Doll <(ΦωΦ)>: Meow~ Meow~
HiroC: Try holding it.
OnoD: Hold it. . .hold it, right? What’s your name? Tell me.
Cat Doll <(ΦωΦ)>: Meow~
HiroC: Name it, Ono-san.
OnoD: What kind of name should we give you?
HiroC: (consulting staff) Oh, oh. Its name is Sylph the Meow.
Cat Doll <(ΦωΦ)>: Meow~ Meow~
OnoD: Oh, so you’re Sylph-chan! Are you female or a male? Okay, let’s take a look!
HiroC: Ah! Stop it!
OnoD: It’s a female!
Sylph-chan <(ΦωΦ)>: Meow. . .
OnoD: I still can’t understand what your meows mean, but you’re cute. So cute.
Sylph-chan <(ΦωΦ)>: Meow- (stops)
OnoD: Huh? What’s wrong?
Sylph-chan <(ΦωΦ)>: (no response)
OnoD: What’s wrong?
Sylph-chan <(ΦωΦ)>: (still no response)
OnoD: Sylph?! SYLPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HiroC: AHAHAHAHA! (claps) THE END!
OnoD: (sighs in relief)
HiroC: Ono-san, what happened in the end?
OnoD: (chuckles) Uhm, it died.
HiroC: Died.

OnoD: Next up is HiroC’s cat communication. Start!
HiroC: Catty, what’s wrong? Catty, catty. Catty, come on~
Sylph-chan <(ΦωΦ)>: Meow! (purrs)

Oh MY GOSH! I’ll die of too much cuteness from this. Oh gosh. HiroC sounds like a father doting on his baby. ლ(●ↀωↀ●)ლ  Both of them are just too cute!  Of course, Sylph-chan is cute, too. (●ↀωↀ●)  Then HiroC reveals that even if he’s a cat lover, his own cat Nyanko-sensei, still hates him sometimes.


I’m a cat lover, as well, so I truly enjoyed this episode.  Wasn’t it fun?  I hope that you enjoyed it as much as I did.  Listen to a recorded copy of this episode below, which was kindly uploaded by dgs2703.  どうもありがとう。

Uploaded by: dgs2703

See you again soon, nee? ヾ(^∇^)

Dear Girl ~Stories~ in animelo mix (Japanese)
Sylph Comics  (Japanese)
Kamiya Hiroshi  in Aoni Production (Japanese)
Ono Daisuke in Mausu Promotion (Japanese)


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