Title: 若い女性に大ヒット中！おもしろさイナズマ級！(Wakai josei ni dai-hitto chuu! Omoshirosa Inazuma-kyuu! / Big hit among young females! Flash of lightning-level fun!)
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Rating: 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 (perfect 5 grins)
ATTENTION!!! Important Note: All the translations below are my own (by Arria Cross). All are labelled “rough translation”, as they did not undergo any professional proofreading and/or editing and may lack literal and/or grammatical accuracy. I did my best, however, to convey the atmosphere and context of the conversations in this radio show.
Before I begin this episode translation (ET), I would like to greet you a HAPPY FRIDAY the 13th!!! Now, now. Some of you might be shuddering right now, but I assure you that Friday the 13th has always been a lucky day for me. I look forward to this day every year. I feel sorry for those who believe that this day is unlucky. Tsk tsk. Since I declare this day one of the luckiest day of the year for me, I’m going to give you my dear fellow DGS fans a very special DGS ET today. I hope that you enjoy it. Cheers!
This is the 41st episode of Kamiya Hiroshi (神谷浩史) and Ono Daisuke’s (小野大輔) radio show Dear Girl ~Stories~. It seems that it’s raining outside during the recording of this episode. OnoD promotes his then newly-released CD. Throughout this episode, HiroC keeps on making fun of OnoD by over-using OnoD’s favourite dialogue tag “mosu”.
They don’t do the usual Futsuu Sto Corner today. Instead, they announce the winners of their Christmas Presents Contest they started in Episode 37. The contest’s title is Doushitemo Getto-shitai Story (I Want to Get That No Matter What Story) or DGS. Instead of a raffle-type contest where the hosts randomly pick a winner, listeners wanting to win are required to send their best reasons that they can think of for “needing” a DGS Christmas Present no matter what. So here are the prizes and their winners:
DS, Earphones, PSP, Talkman
Sponsor: Kamiya Hiroshi
OnoD: So we’ve chosen the winners, right?
HiroC: Yes, we’ve chosen. So now let’s announce the winners! First up are some of my personal things: DS, earphones, PSP, Talkman-MOSU!
(staff laughing in the background)
Arria: DS refers to the Nintendo DS device; PSP refers to Sony’s PlayStation Portable device; and Talkman is a language translation software for PSP.
OnoD: Hehe. Mosu. . . .
HiroC: We’ve chosen the winner!
HiroC: The winner is Kashiwashi Asako-san! Congratulations!
HiroC: This is her reason for wanting these prizes.
Kashiwashi Asako-san (Contest Letter): I want to become a designer one day, so I passed the entrance exam for a school specializing in Fine Arts this year. In that school, I’m hoping to become an exchange student and study Fine Arts in England, so I’ll need to be able to speak English. For that reason, I’ll need the earphones and the Talkman to learn to speak English more effectively. Although we have some game consoles & other gadgets in our house, I don’t work yet so I can’t really buy the software that I really want. And since I’m planning to one day join an international designers association, I really need these things.
OnoD: How admirable!
HiroC: Yes, she is extraordinarily admirable.
(staff laughs in the background)
OnoD: Huh? She’s an awesome person, isn’t she?
HiroC: She wants these so that she can use them to study, so that one day she can be a designer. If after this, she really becomes a designer because I’ve given her some of my things, then that would be awesome, right?
HiroC: What a wonderful dream she has.
A Moto Okinoi Watch
Sponsor: Ono Daisuke
OnoD: Next up is from me. It was said to resemble the bottom of an empty can before, my Moto Okinoi Watch!
HiroC: Yes, I remember that watch.
Arria: They’re talking about OnoD’s infamous watch which HiroC & the DGS staff were making fun of from episode 26. They were saying that it looked like the bottom of an empty can.
OnoD: So the winner of my watch is Hitomi-san from Gunma!
HiroC: Congratulations-MOSU! AMA!
Arria: “Ama” refers to OnoD’s then newly-released CD “Amaoto”.
OnoD: Ama? Hahaha. Hey!
Hitomi-san (Contest Letter): I have a bad sense of balance especially on my right side, so I had to always grab something to keep me from falling over. So I thought that if I wear your empty can-like watch on my left hand as a kind of anchor, then I’ll be able to have a better sense of balance. What do you think?
HiroC & staff: AHAHAHAHA!
Hitomi-san (Contest Letter): And besides this, I have no sense of time whatsoever so please give me your empty can watch.
HiroC: What a valid reason for wanting your watch!
HiroC: It’s a life & death kind of reason, so you’ll be able to help a fellow human being by giving out your empty can-like watch.
OnoD: Ahaha. This person really understands the need for my watch, right?
HiroC: Yes, she does! That’s so awesome!
OnoD: She really understand the need for my watch.
HiroC: Her problems are dangerous!
OnoD: Yes, life-threatening. She really needs my watch to anchor her left-side.
HiroC: That’s right. And besides your Empty Can Nailhead watch is good, too. . . .
OnoD: It’s a Moto watch!
HiroC: It suits her perfectly-MOSU! Congratulations!
The next prize is a set of eyeglasses from a mangaka. The winner’s reason for wanting this prize is that she wants to use it for cosplay. The winner also gives an advice to the mangaka. She says for the mangaka to avoid becoming fatter and to eat more vegetables. It’s funny, but rude at the same time. I feel a bit sorry for this prize’s sponsor.
The next prize is from Kobayashi “Chanko Chanko” who was introduced in episode 31. If you’ll remember, he’s a broadcasting writer who was trained at A&G Academy. He’s also overweight, thus becoming the object of many jokes from the hosts, staff, and even listeners. How sad. Anyway, his prize is a triple large T-shirt. The winner’s reason for wanting this prize is that she’s going to bury the T-shirt in a time capsule as a present to her future self because she thinks that she’s going to get fat in the future.
The other prizes are aroma candles, a sleeping bag, some manga-making tools from Sylph Comics, and a DGS CD signed by HiroC & OnoD from Dwango. Do you agree with me that HiroC gave the best prizes? I mean, he gave 4 different items. Although I wouldn’t mind those tools for drawing manga.
Afterwards, OnoD promotes his new CD, then plays a snippet of Amaoto again. Once again, I want to say that it’s one of his best songs. Very romantic.
Finally, they do the Sylph Danwashitsu Corner. They introduce a manga titled Triple Complex (ToriCon for short) by mangaka Nekota Yonezou-sensei. After they read what ToriCon is about, HiroC comments how similar the premise is for their upcoming manga “Dear Girl ~Stories~: Hibiki”.
HiroC: These 3 detectives from Triple Complex are 3 ikemen (handsome men), while in our manga, there are only 2 detectives, us, the. . .whatever. . .akuma seiyuu (evil voice actors).
Both: It’s similar!
HiroC: And it’s a volume where Hato is reporting!
Arria: They’re talking about mangaka Okachimachi Hato-sensei, author of Fujoshissu! She also writes for DGS as a Sylph Comics correspondent.
OnoD: You bastard!
HiroC: That Hato bastard! That Hato traitor.
OnoD: You Hato traitor.
HiroC: What the heck’s wrong with you?
OnoD: And this manga has 3 handsome detectives.
HiroC: We’ve been thieved.
OnoD: This mangaka has gone ahead with this premise before we can publish our own. Isn’t that bad?
HiroC: You thieving bastard. Damn it.
OnoD: You bastard.
Their words sound rather harsh when translated to English, but in Japanese, I assure you that even if they’re considered “harsh” words, there’s a vague sense of. . .hmmm. . .shall we say, affection. Afterwards, they read a letter sent by Nekota-sensei where he asks the hosts about a way to refuse without offending others. For this, HiroC & OnoD perform 2 skits.
In the first skit, OnoD plays an annoying store clerk who pushes his tastes to a customer played by HiroC.
Skit 1 START
Ono Daisuke as Store Clerk
Kamiya Hiroshi as Customer
OnoD (clerk): Welcome.
HiroC (customer): Ah, hello.
OnoD (clerk): (in a creepy, horny-like voice) Ah, welcome, sir. I have some really nice clothes here. This yellow-green will look good on you. This yellow-green will really suit you. Ah, wait. I think that you would like to have one in another colour, right?
HiroC (customer): Really?
OnoD (clerk): Yes, that’s what I think. You don’t know what you want, right? You don’t know! Ah! Yes, yes. How about this purple one? It will suit you perfectly.
HiroC (customer): Ah. That purple clothes?
OnoD (clerk): Yes, yes. This purple one. Yes, this purple-spangled. . .poncho! This poncho will look good on you!
HiroC (customer): Purple. . .spangled. . .poncho?
OnoD (clerk): Yes. Look, look! It looks good on you! Look!
HiroC (customer): Ah, I’m interested in it but. . .just a tiny little bit interested in it, but the thing is that I don’t really need it.
OnoD (clerk): See, it brings out your best features. And this is the last one from my stock. The last one! (whispers) It suits you!
HiroC (customer): Ah, can I try this on?
OnoD (clerk): Huh?
HiroC (customer): Can I try this on? I want to try it on so that I can see for myself whether it looks good on me or not.
OnoD (clerk): I understand.
(HiroC pretends to try the poncho on)
OnoD (clerk): How do you like it?
HiroC (customer): Uhm, I don’t like it very much.
OnoD (clerk): Well, purple things don’t look good on me BUT– (shocked) Are you a seiyuu?
(staff laughing in the background)
HiroC (customer): No, I’m not.
OnoD (clerk): You’re a seiyuu, aren’t you?
HiroC (customer): I’m really not.
(staff still laughing)
OnoD (clerk): Miyano-kun will buy this, you know. Ah, yes. How about the blue one?
Arria: I think he’s referring to seiyuu Miyano Mamoru.
HiroC (customer): Ah, I’m sorry but I’m leaving now.
SKIT 1 END
After skit 1, they immediately start another skit with HiroC & OnoD’s roles reversed.
Skit 2 START
Kamiya Hiroshi as Store Clerk
Ono Daisuke as Customer
HiroC (clerk): Welcome! Ah, Ono-san, long time no see. It’s been a while since you came here–
OnoD (customer): This is actually my first time here.
HiroC (clerk): So I have lots to offer you. Feel free to look around.
OnoD (customer): No, as I was saying, it’s my first time here.
HiroC (clerk): That’s not true. I saw you standing in front of my store before.
OnoD (customer): No, I wasn’t.
HiroC (clerk): I can’t be wrong. I know your name, so I definitely won’t forget that you came here before.
OnoD (customer): I really haven’t been here before.
HiroC (clerk): So what are you looking for today? Ah, I know.
OnoD (customer): As I was saying, I definitely haven’t been here before.
HiroC (clerk): Clothes, right?
OnoD (customer): Huh?
HiroC (clerk): How about this purple-spangled poncho?
(staff laughing loudly in the background)
OnoD (customer): Ah!
HiroC (clerk): This is really great, you know. This is entirely handmade by the dressmaker, sewing in the spangles one by one. . . .
OnoD (customer): It’s too shiny for my taste.
HiroC (clerk): So this is the only one of its kind in the world, since the designer made it exclusively for this store.
OnoD (customer): The thing is that I really don’t need a poncho.
HiroC (clerk): Feel free to try it on.
OnoD (customer): Huh?
HiroC (clerk): I think that this will go great with something like a jacket when you have photoshoots. The style suits you perfectly.
OnoD (customer): Ah but you know, I prefer plain-style clothes.
HiroC (clerk): What are you talking about, Ono-san? Isn’t this purple poncho great?
OnoD (customer): But you see here, the inside feels slippery. The raw materials aren’t very good quality. It looks more like a nylon track suit than a poncho, you know.
HiroC (clerk): Of course not. I really suggest you to try it on.
(OnoD pretends to put the poncho on)
HiroC (clerk): Wow, it really looks good on you! I’ve never seen someone who looks this good with that on. I’m so surprised!
OnoD (customer): Uhm, it actually feels a bit tight.
HiroC (clerk): Not at all. That size fits you perfectly. Especially someone with your body type.
OnoD (customer): But I can’t fit my whole body inside it.
HiroC (clerk): But you know. . .
OnoD (customer): It doesn’t fit my body, even though it’s supposed to be a poncho.
HiroC (clerk): Really?
OnoD (customer): Yes.
HiroC (clerk): But it really suits you perfectly, you know. Isn’t it just wonderful, Ono-san?
OnoD (customer): Well, if that’s the case. . .I’LL BUY IT!
HiroC & staff: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
SKIT 2 END
This is definitely one of my most favourite DGS episodes. It’s one of my longest ETs so far, and I enjoyed translating it very much. HiroC & OnoD have great energies in this episode.
I hope that you enjoyed it, as much as I did. Listen to a recorded copy of this episode below, which was kindly uploaded by dgs2703. どうもありがとう。
Uploaded by: dgs2703
Enjoyed this episode translation (ET)? Let me know. Feel free to leave a message by commenting below or by writing me an e-mail. Also follow fujinsei via e-mail, so you’ll be updated with all posts, especially my DGS ETs. I appreciate all of your comments, questions, and requests. I’m also looking for a fellow DGS fan who can help translate episodes for more frequent DGS posts. If you’re interested, contact me.
See you again soon, nee? ｰ(☆∀☆)/”