I Survived An Attempted Sexual Assault

Warning:  This post discusses a mature subject matter and contains words and images that are not suitable for younger audiences.  Reader discretion is advised.

Some of you have noticed my silence here on WordPress this past week.  You may have concluded that I’m taking one of my regular breaks, since most of you already know that I’m a great supporter of taking breaks from blogging as I discussed in some of my previous posts “I Regularly Take Breaks From Blogging And Why You Should, Too” and “The (Un)Healthy Lives of Otaku Bloggers”.  You’re correct.  I took a break from blogging, but not for the usual reasons of burn-out or lack of motivation.  You can say that I was forced into a break because, well. . .here it goes.

Last week, I narrowly survived an attempted sexual assault.

I don’t want to go into much of the details—I hope you all understand—but let me just make this clear.  I wasn’t successfully groped or touched in a sexual manner, so I was technically NOT sexually assaulted.  However, it was clearly an attempted sexual assault.  The pervert trapped me at the back of a bus, and if it weren’t for my intuition and my previous Tae Kwon-Do training, I would probably now be wearing the label “Sexual Assault Victim”.  I just thank God with all my heart that my training kicked in even when I already quit Tae Kwon-Do over a year ago, almost 2 years now, because of a severe injury that permanently weakened my right ankle, making it prone to potential future injuries.

When I say Tae Kwon-Do, you may be imagining me attacking the bastard with some fancy 360-degree kicks, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case at all.  Although you don’t know how much I wish I could’ve kicked the dickhead blue, my position during that time prevented me from doing so—namely, I didn’t have enough space to move since I was trapped in a narrow space and I was wrapped in layers like a burrito (it’s Canadian winter, you know) and I was carrying a heavy backpack filled with textbooks.  My movements were limited, but my eyes and my voice weren’t.  I could hear my former Tae Kwon-Do Master yelling inside my head:  “Show no fear!  Look strong, act strong!  Warn them that you can be dangerous.”  And so I did.  I glared, bared my teeth, shoved at him to free myself, and most importantly, I shouted at the damned dickhead.  Long story short, I was able to scare the bastard away and he fled.

anime girl groped and self-defence

All of these happened within seconds.  I was saved in the end, but there was a moment of about one second which felt like a long time that I was just frozen in fear.  I couldn’t move.  What snapped me out of this paralysis and pumped adrenaline into my veins was the damned bastard’s expression.  He was smirking and silently threatening me at the same time!  Can you imagine?  The dickhead’s smirk pissed me off so badly that my face automatically contorted into what I felt like a wild animal’s and my body moved on its own accord to save myself.

anime girl frozen in fear

Useless Witnesses

What dismayed me the most about the incident wasn’t the pervert himself, but the useless witnesses.  There were other passengers riding the bus but they might as well be non-existent for all the attention they gave on what transpired right in front of them.  All of them, and I mean ALL OF THEM were engrossed in their own little worlds wearing earphones and eyes glued to their smartphones.  Not that I blame them since I’m also usually like them whenever I commute, but they nevertheless pissed me off. . .well, they still piss me off whenever I think about what they did or rather what they did NOT do.

The Unfortunate “Through Life” Attitude of Modern Society

This reminded of an episode from Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei (さよなら絶望先生) where Itoshiki Nozomu explained to his students that modern society is suffering from a “Through Life” attitude.  What this means is that when people witness something, may it be a crime or a person needing help right in front of us, we just let the situation go “through” us and move on.  In short, we ignore and fail to take action, reasoning that it doesn’t have anything to do with us.

sayonara zetsubou sensei-despair

Personal Peace & Safety VS. World Peace & Safety

Similarly, this “Through Life” concept also reminded me of Mobile Suit Gundam 00 that I recently watched.  One of the subjects that it tackles is the happy ignorance people from “peaceful” countries have.  They’re happy as long as they have their own peace and safety.  They couldn’t care less about war-torn countries and how children are being trained as soldiers to fight bloody wars orchestrated by forces fighting for power and dominance.  As long as they’re enjoying their high standards of living, they’re happy to stay ignorant about the countless deaths due to wars in other countries.

soran-setsuna kps children soldiers - mobile suit gundam 00

Don’t you think these are similar to how most of us usually deal when hearing news about sexual assaults?  Before I experienced what I experienced last week, I was already hearing about frequent sexual assaults in the news.  I felt bad for the victims, but after a few seconds I forgot about them.  Why is that?  Because I didn’t know them, and I had never experienced what they experienced.  I confess that I’m guilty of having this “Through Life” attitude.  I reasoned that there wasn’t no immediate danger for me. . .until it happened to me.  Now I know how frightening it is to be (almost) violated by some douchebag who can’t control his sexual urges and gets a kick out of sexually assaulting another human being.

Hentai Anime is JUST anime?

Anyway, it also reminded me of some of the ero anime—more known outside Japan as hentai anime—that I watched due to curiosity before.  Now, now.  Don’t be so surprised.  I already wrote about this in a previous post “There Is No Anime That I’m Ashamed of Watching”.  Yes, I watch hentai anime but that doesn’t mean that I enjoy them.  Do you really think that I enjoy watching some poor student in a sailor uniform that for some reason have watermelon-sized boobs crying silently while a goddamned son of a bitch gropes her in the middle of a full train?  Do you really think I enjoy watching perverts violate innocent people?  Granted, there are good and romantic hentai anime with decent to even great stories but they are very few, in my opinion.

high school girl groped by pervert in a train - hentai anime

My point is that with hentai anime about unwanted gropings and even rape, most of us can still say that “it’s just anime”.  What we don’t realize is that right at the moment that you’re watching that scene—and heavens forbid that you’re actually enjoying it—some poor person is experiencing that violation in real life.  I narrowly missed being that poor person last week.

I Never Asked To Be Sexually Assaulted

After the incident, I wracked my brain for reasons why he chose me to be his “victim”.  I looked for faults in myself.  Do I look weak?  Well, nobody would describe me as “fragile” but I’m a short woman (only 5″2′) so maybe that’s why?  Do I look seductive?  Absolutely not, especially not that day.  My face was bare, no time for make-up, and I was a human burrito with all the layers I was wearing.  My winter coat hid my figure.  I spent quite a while looking at what might be wrong with me that made me a target that day, but then I realized something and stopped.  I realized that there was absolutely nothing wrong with ME at all.  I never asked to be sexually assaulted.  Everything was that goddamned pervert’s fault and his inability to control his sexual urges, and trying to use intimidation and his natural male strength to violate a fellow human being.

“Asking For It”?

This realization reminded me of comments I often hear in the past when people discuss sexual assault/rape news.  Most were decent human beings, sympathizing with the victims, but some were assholes who said that the women were “asking for it”, wearing seductive clothing and makeup, acting flirty and easy, so what was a man to do but follow what nature programmed them to do?

BULLSHIT.

Whenever I wear makeup or wear nice clothes (I like figure-hugging ones), I NEVER EVER ask to be sexually assaulted or raped.  I want to look nice to feel beautiful and confident as a person.  I don’t do it to seduce perverts.  I do it for myself.  Those ignorant douchebags who carelessly say that sexual assault/rape victims “ask for it” can all go to hell.  And remember that I was a bare-faced burrito when the attempted assault happened to me.  Will you still tell me that I’m “asking for it”?  What a thought.  What pisses me off and also saddens me at the same time is that people who have this kind of “asking for it” opinion aren’t only limited to men but also women.  Imagine yourself as a female sexual assualt victim and hearing a fellow woman say that you’re “asking for it”.  How would you feel?

I also know that sexual assault victims don’t only include females.  Males can also become targets, including gays, lesbians, anyone in between and unfortunately even children.  Virtually everyone are targets of sexual assault, whether you’re young or old or even an animal, it doesn’t matter.  As long as perverted scums exist in the world, this is going to happen.  It’s a terrifying fact, but there you go.

The Most Difficult Post I’ve Written So Far

This post was very hard for me to write.  I’m still rattled and dealing with the emotional stress and paranoia the incident caused me.  I’m on constant full alert and it’s exhausting.  I didn’t realize how deeply affected I was until I found myself sobbing to my dad that night when I told my family what happened.  I always like to believe myself a strong woman, so there’s a small part of me that’s ashamed by this experience.  Did this happen to me because I’m weak?  But I have to constantly remember that I saved myself.  That fact doesn’t make me weak.  Who’s weak is the fucking bastard who made the mistake to target me.

Like I said, this post is the most difficult post I’ve written so far.  It’s so serious.  You know me.  I usually write humourous pieces, evident in my Fujinsei Kempo Series.  I didn’t write this post to ask for your sympathy, or worse your pity.  I don’t need those.  I wasn’t physically hurt anyway, although I am emotionally shaken.  That I can deal.  I’m already dealing with it and I know that I’ll eventually recover from this incident because that’s what I do.

I actually almost didn’t want to write this, but I felt that I have to, not only to get it off my chest but also to warn you, my dear friends, that this is reality and it can happen to you, too.  I’m not just Arria Cross the aniblogger on the web.  I’m a real, breathing, flesh and blood human being just like you.  Please be careful.  Be alert.  And most importantly, if you see someone assaulting another, please don’t hesitate to intervene.  Don’t be another “Through Life” person.

Before I end this post, I want to give my special thanks to my blog partner Becky (@pastelshion) for listening to my story and not hesitating to try and make me feel better.  A huge ARIGATOU, Becky dear, and here’s my heartfelt wish that you dream of Kamiya Hiroshi tonight.  I also want to apologize to Satoshi (@monogatarian).  I feel bad that I wasn’t able to give more attention to you and your guest post earlier this week.  I’ll surely make it up to you on your next guest post.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read this loooooong post.  I’m okay now.  Just need a little bit more time to collect myself, but I’m sure you all understand.  Happy & energetic Arria will be back soon.  Here’s praying that you never experience what I experienced.

-Arria

P.S. This is the current me.  Fierce.  Touch me and you’ll go down.

erza scarlet - strong and sexy - fairy tail


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114 thoughts on “I Survived An Attempted Sexual Assault”

  1. Well done!! Yeah, if you scream or show them no fear, most of them suddenly back out. Because they are actually looking for “easy” victims.

    Well done, you’re great! I’m extremely sensitive towards sexual assault and rape. It’s not as if I was raped or anyone I know, just that the thought of people using their physical strength to force themselves on someone is so incredible disgusting that I just want to kick their asses.
    At work, a customer used to say inappropriate comments towards my person (in front of my boss) One day he grabbed my wrist suddenly and tried to pull me to him. I just pulled back and screamed “no” back then.
    I was scared but I was so angry that my boss laughed it off. I refused to have to do anything with this customer again (I left the company for another a few years ago)

    I hate it when no one helps. I remember on a train, the (ex?) boyfriend of a girl constantly pestered her and hit her with a magazine to get her attention. I was so angry at him and glared at him. I was so annoyed and he must’ve noticed it too because he left immediately. She cried the whole time. When she got off the train, I walked towards her, gave her a handkerchief and talked. She seemed so HAPPY that someone cared. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone smile so brightly with tears in the eyes… I won’t ever forget her face from back then.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. That’s horrible. I don’t know the exact events, but your ex-boss sounds irritating, just laughing at what you experienced. Well, it’s good that you left that job for another. And that’s so nice of you. I wish there are more people who do that. I’m sometimes guilty of being hesitant to help others because I don’t want to get involved, but experiencing what I experienced taught me how scary it is when no one even tries to help you when you most need it. Anyway, thanks for dropping by and sharing your experiences with me. Please take care. Cheers!

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    1. Thank you very much. It made me more aware of this kind of incidents and definitely made me more cautious and alert. Indeed, it’s not okay. I hope that more people become aware of this kind of incidents so they’ll be able to defend themselves when the need arises. Thanks for dropping by. You be careful, too. Cheers!

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  2. I’m so sorry for what you have had to experience. I have a couple of who have been victims of sexual assault and it’s true about what you said about people feeling sympathy for a “few” seconds and then forgetting about it after because people themselves are okay in that moment and that people just stand and do nothing. I don’t think I could ever stand to simply watch as someone get harrassed. It’s been difficult to hear so many things like this happening in the world. I’m just glad to hear you’re okay. If you need to take another break, please go head and take as much time as you need to heal and recover.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I’m okay now. Still a lot paranoid but I think it’s good because it makes me more alert and aware of my surroundings. I’m sorry about your friends. I hope that they’ve coped and recovered from their scary experiences. Indeed, I totally get what you’re saying. I was guilty of being that way too until I experienced what I experienced. Please be careful too and be alert. Thanks again. I appreciate it.

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  3. It’s gladdening to know you were safe and nothing serious developed.
    I also appreciate you writing this post because it’s been on mind (not all the time) but I’ve been wondering what it’s really like for women just going about their daily lives. I’m referring to various feminists I see that talk about about how women are assualted and insulted all the time, and honestly I’ve been wondering “What world are these feminists seeing, because I can’t seem to find the same things they are seeing and talking about”.
    So, your case is a “real-world” example for me. Anyway, there’s also another peculiar thing about that guy. I’m thinking, what was he trying to achieve in a very cramped space on a bus? It’s really a very silly situation (not in terms of its seriousness) but in terms of like not being a very sane situation. As you found when you tried rationalising it, you couldn’t, because a normal rational person wouldn’t have just given in to their base urges in public like that man did.
    Which brings me to my next point: let’s say the man actually succeeded in doing something. Did he think the other passengers would think what he was doing is normal? Granted the other passengers did nothing but at that moment it would have looked like a man staring at a woman and from their perspective they couldn’t see his expression. They might have thought he just wanted to sit down or just stand there. It’s what I would have thought unless I saw something else that would make me suspicious. It’s concerning to think that in that guy’s mind he felt it was acceptable to behave the way he did in relative publicity.

    Anyway, I’m glad you’re ok, and I hope you stay safe. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I’m okay now. I took a fairly long break to recover from the trauma. I’m still a lot paranoid, but I think it’s a productive kind of paranoid because it makes me more alert to my surroundings. I know what you mean. Before I experienced what I experienced, I couldn’t really relate but now I’m more aware about these kinds of situations and don’t hesitate to remove myself from potentially dangerous situations. I try to trust my intuition more these days.

      As for what the bastard is trying to achieve for doing what he does, I don’t know. He’s sick, that’s for sure. Perhaps he wants to feel powerful by assaulting the “weaker”. I don’t know. It’s an incident that I want to forget but not completely forget because I don’t want it to happen to me again or to others for that matter. Anyway, thank you very much. You take care too.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Sigh Unfortunately, with the “through life” thing comes another. The fear to fight back, the fear not to become a victim yourself. And what’s even worse, it’s the fact that people can’t control themselves… Sad world.

    Anyway, I’m really happy nothing physical happened to you. But I’m really sad that such an awful experience bent over you. Hugs Hope you’ll get to be feeling better! And if you need someone to listen to you, I’ll be around too. >.< Take care of yourself and be safe!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much. I really appreciate it. I’m okay now. I took quite a long break, but I’m just getting back now. I understand what you mean. I think fear is natural, and I think that it’s worth it to mentally train yourself or better yet train yourself physically on how to deal with this kind of incidents just to make sure that you’ll know how to respond if you find yourself in this kind of scary situations. You take care too. Be alert. And thanks again.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I am so relieved it wasn’t a successful assault, but I can imagine that it still was mentally and emotionally traumatizing. This is so awful and I’m sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for sharing this even though it was hard. Stay strong!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I appreciate it. I’m okay now and just gradually returning to blogging after taking a break because of this and other circumstances. It was indeed traumatizing but we have to do what we got to do. You too. Please take care and be alert. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. You are so brave, in your actions as well as to write about it after the fact. I’ve been thinking of taking some self-defense classes. We had a prowler outside our house last year. I could hear his breathing through the bedroom window as I went to bed to sleep. Fortunately I didn’t have to face him head on like you did. I ran through the house turning all the lights on and that was enough to scare him away, but I was terrified to sleep in that room for a couple weeks. I’m glad you made it out of that awful situation in one piece!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. Yes, I think it’s really worth it to learn some practical self-defence techniques. If it wasn’t for my previous training, I think I would’ve just remained frozen in fear and let the bastard do what he wanted to do with me. Good thing my body moved on its own accord according to previous training.

      Oh my gosh. That’s scary! Have you reported it to the police? Were you alone at your home when it happened?

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      1. No, I wasn’t alone thank goodness. My husband was sleeping on the couch in the livingroom. We called the police but never actually got through to speak with anyone. We had called local instead of 911 since he had run off. Needless to say, we installed some extra security measures since then!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. I won’t get into detail with my own personal experience with this but I will share with you something someone told me that really helped me at the time. You had nothing to do with why this person chose to attack you. This person is a predator so he thinks like a predator and you will lose a part of who you are and what makes you amazing if you try figure out what was going through this persons mind. You don’t want to think that way so keep your head up and do you.

    The second thing I want to say is something I wish someone had said to me. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be upset, and it’s okay to lean on other people when you need to. In our lives we all have a sense of built in trust that the people around us (whether we know them or not) will respect our boundaries and your boundaries were violated and that’s is not your fault. You did nothing wrong and there is nothing you should have done differently. He and the people who allowed this to happen did something wrong.

    I think it’s really amazing you shared your story and I hope you continue writing about the things you love. I always get a kick out of your posts 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Katrina. I feel for you. And also thanks for sharing your personal experience and how you dealt with it. I agree with you that crying helps a lot. I thought I was okay and I was actually dismayed when I found myself sobbing to my dad when I told him what happened, but it made me so much better afterwards. Thanks to friends (both offline and online) and of course my family and a bit of professional help, I’m okay now. I’m not as shaken anymore, although I’m extremely wary and suspicious of public places. I’m told this is normal. Anyway, thank you so much.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh. Manga: Library Wars, Tokyo Crazy Paradise, 1/2 Prince (I haven’t seen the last two anywhere but scanlation. They are complete and fairly vintage, except Library Wars.Viz English comes out 5 April.

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  9. Dear One, I should have mentioned this before. Sexual assault is not about sex. It is about power: either gaining it by dominating someone weaker or using it because he (and now, very rarely, she) can. It is an impersonal act. There was no one to tell me this when it happened to me.
    Now, look at your life as a board. The hurtful things are nails, some big, some tiny. When the nail is removed, the hole remains. Then either you or someone else fills that hole with putty. Over time, that putty hardens, becoming a stronger part of the board. Only the outline of the hole remains.
    Big Reveal: I am married. 28 years now, together 30. My husband is the most wonderful man in the world, not because he is without fault, but because we fit one another. He is The One. And I get to be with him all day long! Life is the best it has ever been.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much. And yes, I now realize that your words are right, thanks to some professional help. I’m so glad that you’re happy now with the love of your life. I feel for you. You’re strong for successfully finding happiness after what’s happened to you. Please continue to do so. Always take care and be happy. Cheers!

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  10. I’ve never understood why people try to force themselves on others, it’s pathetic. All someone has to do is ask for a number if they’re interested. It’s good to read that you managed to get through it although it’s disappointing that nobody on the bus even tried to help.

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  11. Some people are unbelievable. I was able to observe this “through life” attitude as well. I am against it and I don’t use internet on mobiles because I think it removes people from the real world. It also is the reason I don’t blog on a daily base most of the time. I am glad you could defend yourself. Live by your own strength is more an more an attitude which is expected to be omnipresent in the mind of people. Life itself seems to have become less important than the newest internet video/rumor etc. I hope someday people are less influenceable because a lot of those perverts think they are alright because pervs like that can be seen in anime and movies, they live in a porn-world learning by watching… pityful… I think some animes/ movies where something terrible happens to people with that behaviour pattern is due.

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    1. I agree with you. You’re so right. I must admit that I have this “through life” attitude as well before I experienced what I experienced. I still listen to music when I’m commuting, but unlike before I turn the volume low enough so that I can hear what’s around me. I’m paranoid and super suspicious right now that I can’t help but be alert, which is not a bad thing. I am so glad that I was able to defend myself too, although there was this one terrifying moment that I just froze. So glad that my body acted on its own accord due to previous training. Thank you very much.

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      1. It’s important to keep an eye on your surrounding but telling this to people is often fruitless. I once observed an attack with a glassbottle, the attacker approached on its victim from behind (after they had a fight and the other was leaving)
        since then I am super careful of my surroundings. Training for self.defense is very essential in reducing action-reaction time. Great you could move, a lot of people just remain frozen.

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      2. That sounds terrible. Indeed, I’m just glad that my training kicked in even when I quit for almost a couple of years now. I got frozen, too, but only for a moment so I’m so thankful for that. And you too, please be careful.

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  12. I was left in dismay reading this post and at the same time thinking of how brave you are to write this up, I am hoping venting on here has helped a little.

    I just wanted to say dear that THAT PIECE OF SHIT LITA WOULD HAVE KICKED HIM SO HARD TILL HE CRIED MAMA. your posts shows how shallow some people are to do anything to help but they might have been afraid too but still there should have been somewhere in their that wanted to not be a chicken clearly not !!!

    I won’t say much on this topic as for me I block it from my mind but I know exactly how it feels though my situation I experience was far different from yours so I know how you feel frozen in fear to do anything thinking over why AM I NOT? fear takes over and the part for me was there was someone that could have helped but they chose to sit there in silence LIKE A SAD MUT !!

    other than that I am so glad you are unharmed I love you Aria – san don’t forget your amazing as the sun shines 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so very much, Lita. I really appreciate it. And well, unfortunately, the other passengers just weren’t paying attention at all. They were in their own little worlds with earphones on and eyes glued to their mobile devices, so I don’t think that they would pay attention unless it’s an earthquake or something. Anyway, thanks. My mental image of you kicking the jerkhead made me feel better. Thanks a bunch. And please do be careful.

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  13. Hmm… While I have my opinions on this subject, I don’t wanna come off as someone who “pities” you. Some inhuman dirt did something wrong, That’s that. All the while you get to advertise some of your previous posts :DDDDDDD

    P.S. If it’s for you, I am asking for it… don’t tell lyn.

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    1. Please don’t pity me. I would be deeply insulted if you do. And yes, you’re right. That’s that, and I’m glad that’s only what happened.

      Well, I AM still a blogger. I must’ve done it unconsciously. Ahahaha. Oh well. It’s my blog. And yes, I won’t tell Lyn-sama. 😉

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  14. I was wondering what happened to you and thank God you are alright. I just don’t understand those people who watch and do nothing. Makes you wonder where have all the good people gone? If I were there when that was happening, I would have taken the bastard down without hesitation. Glad to know your Tae Kwon Do training kicked in just when you needed it. Stay strong, stay blessed! I hope that idiot gets what’s coming to him.

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    1. Thank you very much. I had to take a break and deal with my emotions after it happened. I’m okay now, thank God. Still a lot paranoid but I’m told it’s normal. Indeed, I’m so thankful that my training kicked in too. If not, I think that I would’ve just frozen in fear. (shudders) Anyway, thanks again. And please do take a bastard down when you see one assaulting someone.

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  15. You are a total badass. In comparison, it makes my blogging absence look bloody insignificant. I’m really glad you’re alright.

    Thank you for sharing. This is one of the most important blog posts I’ve seen from anyone in ages; everyone should read this.

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  16. Thank you for being willing to share something so hard. It’s something we all need to hear lest we become those uninvolved bystanders. Know that our thoughts and prayers go with you as you work through the aftermath of this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much. I’m okay now, not shaken anymore. . .although still a lot paranoid. And yes, that’s one of my hopes when I wrote this post. I hope that more people become aware of this issue and help others when they see a similar situation. Thanks.

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  17. You are strong.

    It sucks that we live in a world where those types of people exist and a good majority of people have a fear of going outside because they are scared it will happen to them.

    It’s people like you, me, and everyone here that’s commenting that have a job to change the world and its current state of being and thinking. It is up to us to teach younger generations and minds how to be good people.

    I’m sorry that this happened to you, but do know that you are a strong, beautiful person. ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. What a wonderful thing to say. I don’t think I’m strong enough at this moment to actively teach the younger generation how to be good people, but I’ll do my best to make others aware of this issue. It really sucks. I’m one of the lucky ones, and I’m now becoming more aware of sexual assaults because of my very close encounter. I’m still dealing with the aftershocks, but I sure do hope that once I’m fully okay as in very OK, I can find something to help with this cause. Thanks so much. Please do take care of yourself too.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Again, thank goodness you’re physically alright. It’s also wonderful you not only had the training to defend yourself but that you actually had the inner strength to use it. I just hope the guy gets caught before he can do more harm to society. Best wishes to you in this tough time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much, Pres. I’m also thankful that I had some training. I thank God every second for it. Because without it, I think I would’ve remained frozen in fear. My body just moved on its own, so I give all the credit to my tkd training before. I’m okay now. Thanks very much. I appreciate it. You be careful too.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. I have no words, other than that you are strong – doubly so for making this post. Although I sincerely hope none of your readers experience what you just did, if we do find themselves in a similar situation, it would do us well to remember this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much. I appreciate your kind words. And yes, that’s what I’m hoping in writing this post. Although I must unfortunately tell you that there are people who’ve e-mailed me sharing their own personal stories. Compared to some of their experiences, mine’s nothing. I’m thankful but sad at the same time.

      Like

  20. Thank God you are okay. I am really sorry this happened to you. The same thing happened to a friend of mine. What she told me to tell you was if you need to talk to some do it. Keeping it to yourself isn’t going to help. Stay strong and know it wasn’t your fault. I am so thankful that you were able to defend your self. I hope you recover emotional soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much. I’m thankful that I’m okay too. Was your friend sexually assaulted or was it an attempted one like mine? Either way, I feel for her strongly. Indeed, I had to take a break from most of my online activities until now to focus on dealing with the strong emotions the incident has caused me. Friends and family have been huge help, but I also had to have a bit of professional help just to make sure. Now I’m okay. Thank you very much. And please be careful too.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m just glad you are okay. It was an attempted but it wouldn’t have been if her brother hadn’t shown up. I’m glad that you are doing better. No problem and I will be careful.

        Liked by 1 person

  21. Oh, No, I haven’t experienced this, but I know how it feels. Just touching my arm or placing an arm on my shoulders by some random guy, even if he’s an acquaintance, can make me squirm and cringe. So, I can just imagine what I’d feel if what you experienced happened to me, too. I hope I’d be as strong as you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, all of us have personal spaces that are about 2 feet around us. If someone we don’t know invades this space, we instantly go on high alert. Please be careful and of course. It never hurts to trust your instincts when it comes to situations like this.

      Like

  22. “Strong” and “invulnerable” are not the same thing. We think strength is the power to break, but it’s more the power to endure, I’ve found. In that spirit, you ARE a strong woman.

    You did NOT just LET something happen to you, you resisted, and did so effectively. You also pulled yourself out of the “why me, what’s wrong with me” sinkhole, placing responsibility precisely where it belongs, with that pervert. And now, instead of doing nothing about it, you share your experience with the world, hoping it will do some good, and encourage others to be strong, and to help out when they see something bad happening.

    That’s at least three ways you are strong.

    You are a strong woman.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Excellent point. Thank you for pointing that out. I’m a short woman, so I try my best to look as tough as I can because I don’t want to be seen as weak just because of my build. However, I also realize that appearances alone aren’t enough to deter jerkheads from doing the nasty things they have in mind. Thank you very much. I appreciate your kind words. I want to keep on working on how to be a stronger woman, not only in terms of physical strength. Thanks again.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Thank insert whaever is best suitable that you were able to respond like that. Too many don’t know how they shoudl react/ freeze in the moment and then soon afterwards it is too late. I tried to convince my wife to take some self defence courses but she is just too lazy for that so each time she goes out one need to worry that she cant defend herself as most people around wouldnt even bend a finger in case something happens.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I froze too, you know, that’s why I’m giving most of the credit to my previous training because my body moved on its own. Otherwise I think I’ll be one of the unfortunate ones who just froze until the horrid deed is done. Thank God my training kicked in. I really hope that you can persuade your wife to take some basic self-defence classes, even a very short one. Just so she knows how to remove herself from a bad situation. Good luck.

      Like

  24. A short response I know, but I really just wanted to say well done on the way you dealt with the situation. Having the strength and quick thinking to act as you did is a good thing and ensured that things did not go further. Regardless of the attitudes and (lack of) actions of others at the time, that is something to be proud of.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much. I was a mess right after it happened, but I’m okay now. And yes, now I can finally say that I’m quite proud that I didn’t let anything happen to myself. I appreciate your kind words. And please also be careful.

      Liked by 1 person

  25. I’m so thankful for you; on many levels! I’ve been surprised more than once about the passivity of bystanders when a crime like this happens. Once, in Estonia, my girlfriend and I were walking home. It was pleasant until we notice that the “couple” in front of us were a touchy man and a middle aged woman obviously saying “No!” To his advances. My girlfriend spoke Russian, and told the guy to take it easy. Things were calm for a minute, then he tried to firce her off the sidewalk down a dark trail into the park. She called for help, not one Russian moved, but we did! She got the woman, I got between him and her, motioning for him to leave. He charged for her, and that was it! I grabbed him, lifted him, and threw him down an bankment. We had just enough time to close the cab doir and speed away. The whole time she’s saying thanks in Russian and crying. I just don’t get how people can ignore a cry for help! Thanks so much fir your story. I’m Sure it will help many!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My mouth was literally open as I was reading your comment. That was horrible! Way more horrible than what happened to me. That girl was so lucky that you and your girlfriend were there to save her. And the bystanders were way worse than the passengers at the bus of my attempted assault. At least they had a (kind of) reason of their passivity—their ears were covered with earphones and their eyes were glued to their smartphones. But the story you shared. . .(shakes head). . .horrible, just plain horrible. Thank you for saving the girl. You and your girlfriend were very brave. And of course thanks for sharing this story. Take care.

      Liked by 1 person

  26. I’m so glad you’re ok – that your training kicked in and you were able to remove yourself before the assault took place. Unfortunately, most people aren’t so fortunate. And some of us, although not assaulted, are still violated. When I was (much) younger, I worked in a women’s clothing store. Some perv started buying me lingerie that he would ask me to model for him. It got so bad that the other employees would hide me in the stock room whenever he came around. We called the police but they said there was nothing they could do because he wasn’t violating any laws (not even menacing by stalking) – but that didn’t change the way it left me feeling.

    It was brave of you to write and post this. Take care of yourself and take out some time to regroup. In the end, I hope you become stronger from this. Never let someone get to you. Allowing them in your head is like allowing them to take up space rent free and that space would be much better served in other ways. Stay strong. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my goodness. That’s terrible. I’m assuming that the pervert eventually stopped. I can’t help but be suspicious. I hope he didn’t wait for you until your shift is over and tried to assault you when you’re going home. (shudders) Anyway, thank you very much for sharing your story. I appreciate it. It’s hard to tell our stories but it helps to get them out of our chests. Please continue to take care so situations like that don’t happen again and I will do my best to take care, too. Thanks.

      Like

    1. Thank you very much. I’m glad that I’m okay, too. Indeed. But even if I’m saying this as a protest against this kind of culture, I have to admit that I’m a kind of hypocrite too. If an issue doesn’t affect me directly, I tend to “not care” but of course I try to be mindful and think of ways I can help. I’m still learning. Anyway, thanks so much.

      Like

  27. A point I would like to add is that even though it is important to help a person out, if you don’t think you can handle it, don’t charge into it. Maybe ask another person to go help out.
    For me, I’m not even 5 foot and I am not physically strong. If I was to go help someone, I could get hurt too.
    But I’m glad nothing serious happened to you and gave the scum a scare.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Indeed. If you think that you can’t handle a situation by yourself, it’s safer to call for help. It would be more disastrous if you’re also assaulted as a result of trying to help. Oh! A person shorter than me! (not an insult)
      And yes, I’m glad too. Thank you very much. I think that it’s important to short girls like us to know how to defend ourselves in this kind of situations. Please take care.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think it’s worth a try. Classes here usually have a trial perios. I don’t know about there, but if they have trial periods, maybe you can just go and try and see which kind of martial arts suit you. Right now, I can’t really do martial arts because of the risk of hurting a previous injury, so maybe I’ll just do some practical self-defence lessons instead. I hope that you get the chance to try them too.

        Like

      2. If I do a martial art, I would do Tae Kwon Do. I’m not sure if it will suit my height but I’ve always wanted to do that one because it concentrates on kicking. I don’t really like skin to skin contact too much so I wouldn’t want to do those self defence Japanese martial arts.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I actually loved doing it, that’s why I got a bit depressed when I first got injured. I attempted to return to it maybe a couple of times afterwards, but my injury left my foot weak and prone to injuries so I was told that I should stop. -__-

        Liked by 1 person

  28. Thank God that you are okay (the kind of ‘okay’ that Shiro described).

    I got your warning and advice. I’ll take it to heart so i won’t experience the same thing. Even as someone who hasn’t been into anything truly frightening, i felt terrified at what you had experienced. My friends tell me that i’m always spacing out (probably thinking of something ) and that i’m an easy prey to perverts but i’ll be as vigilant as possible now.

    Another thing, did the police or anyone catch that pervert? He deserve to be put into prison so he can repent for his actions. Someone like that shouldn’t be roaming the streets for everyone’s safety.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I’m told that when you have a spaced out look on your face, you’re a very easy target for these jerkheads. So please try to be alert as much as you can. Although saying this now, I know how exhausting being alert and paranoid all the time is. But I think it’s better to be safe than sorry.

      No. He’s still running rampant, I think. He really needs to be locked so he can’t do what he tried to do to me to others.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can imagine it to be really mentally exhausting. But yeah, i wouldn’t risk myself so i’d rather be on alert.
        Really? That’s too bad. I hope you (and others too) won’t meet him or someone like him again.

        Liked by 1 person

  29. You may not be fully okay now because the incident is still fresh, but I want to thank you for writing this anyway. This isn’t an easy thing to do, but you did it, you wrote this. You’re strong, wonderful human being, Arria. Don’t forget that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much, Miha-chan. Indeed, this is the hardest post I’ve written so far, but I feel so much better after writing it. Anyway, thank you very much for your kind words. I appreciate it. And please take care.

      Like

  30. OMG I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE OKAY. I think my heart was racing when I read this and I was trying to scan at everything to see if there’s anything that has indicated you are not.

    I mean ‘okay’ as in you weren’t physically/sexually harmed and not the emotional and psychological after effects, the latter which are only natural given such an incident.

    In a way this reminded me that I can’t get too complacent about safety and stuff like that. To be honest I don’t train in any martial arts so I don’t what I could have done to physically defend myself in that sort of situation. But I guess doing anything that calls for attention does help.

    And I also hate people who blame incidents of sexual assault on the victims. I agree with you that that’s the most utter bullshit that I have ever heard.

    Thankfully, you have a strong support group of family and friends. If you need to talk about anything I am here on Twitter and WP anytime 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much, shiroyuni. Yes, I’m okay. I wasn’t hurt or touched in a sexual manner. Thank God for that.

      Well, I’m not saying that you have to be trained in martial arts to be able to protect yourself in this kind of situations, although they’re a great lifesaver if you do train. As long as you have your voice and use it effectively and of course strongly, you’ll be able to scare those jerkheads away. And of course, call for help.

      (groans) Those kind of people piss me off. Seriously? Blaming the assault on the victims baffles the mind. What a load of bullshit. I had some friends and even some family members who were like this (before I experienced what I experienced), and even then I gave them a piece of my mind.

      Anyway, thank you very much. I feel the love. I appreciate the support. Take care. Please do be careful.

      Liked by 1 person

  31. I can’t contain my anger and disgust…so, this is the price we are paying for the civilization that we are supposed to “enjoy”…it’s a good thing, you had the presence of mind…now, I will tell my wife to take a martial arts lesson which is really very important nowadays….thanks for sharing this eye-opening unfortunate experience….I just hope you have emotionally recovered from it….take care!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oo, maigi na marunong ang asawa mo na protektahan ang sarili niya kapag hindi ka niya kasama. Mahirap na. Maraming mga masasama ang loob sa mundo. Okay naman na ako. Paranoid pa rin pero normal daw na reaksiyon sabi sa akin. Maraming salamat! 🙂

      Like

  32. All that matters now is that you are okay, all the dickheads in the world need to come together and shoved into some sort of black hole where they can never come back. I can’t imagine what you are feeling right now, but if you ever need any sort of company or help then I’ll be here if you need, Tae Kwon-Do Super Warrior!

    Liked by 1 person

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