Remembering my first ever Fujinsei Kempo lesson.
Achieving Enlightenment the Otaku Way
Osu! Greetings, shokun! From now on, I’ll be regularly invading Arria’s space to carve my own place here at fujinsei. You may call me Cross-shishou. No, I insist you call me that. I am what you call an alter ego, born from Arria’s repressed otaku. Yes, that woman’s still repressing the otaku inside her, even when she has this blog and all. She’s just too meek to create her own school of teachings for the sole purpose of achieving enlightenment the Otaku Way. So I decided to wrench my consciousness from Arria, separating myself from her, to establish Fujinsei Kempo. I give you the honour of becoming my first student.
My first teaching to a budding otaku like you is how to achieve a Zen state of mind using 5 proven otaku techniques (proven by myself, of course). So are you ready to develop the otaku inside you? Good. Let’s start. Osu!
1. Pick your favourite attack move and transfrom it into a mantra.
For example, if your favourite attack is Dragon Ball’s Kamehame-Ha, take it and transform it into your own personal mantra.
Kamehame-Ha Kamehame-Ha Kamehame-Ha Kamehame-Ha Kamehame-Ha Kamehame-Ha Kamehame-Ha Kamehame-Ha Kamehame-Ha Kamehame-Ha Kamehame-Ha Kamehame-Ha Kamehame-Ha. . . .
It also works for other attacks like Luffy’s Gomu Gomu no of ONE PIECE.
Gomu Gomu No Gomu Gomu No Gomu Gomu No Gomu Gomu No Gomu Gomu No Gomu Gomu No Gomu Gomu No Gomu Gomu No Gomu Gomu No Gomu Gomu No Gomu Gomu No Gomu Gomu No Gomu Gomu No. . . .
It doesn’t matter which attack name you choose, as long as it has a strong connection with the otaku inside you. Now that you’ve chosen your mantra, pick a quiet place. Sit, lie down, or even stand. Make sure you feel comfortable. Now close your eyes and begin to chant your new mantra. Chant it again and again until your mind empties itself from useless things such as going to school or paying bills. Chant it over and over until you’re filled with the sense of completeness only anime and manga can provide.
2. Create your own Martial Arts pattern with your favourite attack moves.
To start off, choose 1 of your favourite attack moves. I suggest to get inspiration from battle series such as Naruto and Dragon Ball which often contain elaborate attack moves. Memorize the attack step-by-step, perfecting the move to the last detail. Do it in super slow-motion again and again, until your body moves in its own accord without having you think too much. Pay attention to your form. Don’t be too hasty to complete the entire move. Discipline is a must.
Perfected it already? Add more moves. 1 complete pattern consists of 5 attack moves done in succession in super slow-motion. You can create more patterns if you wish, but I suggest that you stick to 1 pattern because you’re still a beginner. Perfect this pattern, practicing it again and again, until your mind is flooded with peace while your body draws power with each tiny movement of your muscles. Let each movement empower the otaku inside you, strengthening both your mind and body from the inside-out.
3. Meditate with your favourite anime theme song.
Pick a quiet and comfortable place, and then listen to your favourite anime theme song over and over. Let the ethereal music wash over your otaku soul, cleansing away all your impurities such as shame, replacing them with pride–pride of your otaku identity.
4. Absorb strength from your favourite character.
Get yourself in a comfortable position, cover yourself in a blanket if you must. Close your eyes and visualize your favourite anime character in your mind. What does he or she looks like? Start with his/her hair, then his/her face, body, clothing. . .everything. . .visualize until you have a clear image of your favourite character in your mind. If you’re having trouble visualizing, keep a copy of the character’s image next to you. Take a peek at the image, if you must. Difficulty at this stage is only natural, since you’re still a beginner. But I assure you that as you develop into a full-fledged Fujinsei Kempo student, you’ll find later that this visualization technique becomes as natural as breathing. But for now, be patient.
Once you have a full image in your mind, think about the character’s best qualities. If your favourite character is someone like Monkey D. Luffy of ONE PIECE, focus on his one-track mind and sheer force of will in grabbing his dream to become the Pirate King. Now visualize his one-track mind and sheer force of will being transferred to you. . .slowly. . .very slowly. Feel the warmth of his good qualities flooding your veins, your otaku spirit, until you’re filled with a new-found sense of self. Don’t forget to thank your favourite character for sharing their best qualities with you before you open your eyes.
Arigatou, <your favourite character’s name>!
Now you are a different but better person, thanks to your favourite character.
5. Begin and end your days with the ultimate empowering affirmation.
I’m going to reveal to you the greatest affirmation that you could possibly ever own. Here it is:
(I am an Otaku.)
Saying these mystical words right after you wake up draws energy from the Otaku universe, filling you with strength not only to get through your day, but also to give you the power to perform great otaku things.
Similarly, whispering these words at the end of the day just before you sleep opens the gateway to your mind, letting all the otaku spirits enter your dreams freely. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to ask these spirits for advice on how to be a better otaku. But just remember to be cautious. Not all otaku spirits are friendly.
That concludes today’s teaching of Fujinsei Kempo. Remember to persist and discipline yourself, and to regularly practice the lessons I taught you today. If you do, I guarantee that your own otaku spirit will gradually become more powerful. This is goodbye for now. I will be back as soon as I can sneak behind Arria’s back to use her blog again.
Founder of Fujinsei Kempo
Disclaimer: Study and follow the teachings of Fujinsei Kempo at your own risk. Fujinsei and its main author Arria Cross accept no responsibility whatsoever for the content of this post, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided above. Arria urges you to blame Cross-shishou for any issues you encounter while following Fujinsei Kempo teachings. But Arria wants you to remember that Cross-shishou is a mere alter ego, someone without tangible form. So if you want to blame someone, you might as well blame yourself. You’ve been warned.
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