I’m sure you already heard of “helicopter parents”. It’s a term for obsessively overprotective parents who “hover” around their children; thus the term “helicopter”.
As bloggers, especially personal bloggers like me, we all aim to carve our place in this vast blogosphere. We want our blogs to succeed. We need to spend time and effort in order to have successful blogs, even though the definition of “successful” differs for each blogger. That’s why despite our busy personal lives, we still make sure to take some time to write posts and interact with other bloggers. Some do it a little everyday. Some once or twice a week. Some even do it once a month or less. All common, but what is too much blogging?
There is a fine line between blogging for success and blogging because you’re completely obsessed and addicted.
If you’re blogging for success, then you probably follow a strategy to maximize your blog’s potential. It’s completely different to blogging because you’re addicted and can’t function like a normal human being without checking your blog every minute of the day. I call this kind of blogger a “helicopter blogger”. My term!
Find out whether or not you’re a helicopter blogger from my compiled list of symptoms below:
10 Symptoms Showing That You Might be a Helicopter Blogger
1. You chronically have the urge to check your blog.
Has anyone read my new post yet? I wonder how many likes I have right now. Are there any new comments? How many blog views? What if there aren’t any? Oh no! Is my blog alright? What if it’s hacked? I need to check I need to check I need to check I need to check I NEED TO CHECK MY BLOG RIGHT NOW!!!!!
2. You feel something akin to physical pain if you don’t check your blog.
Your chest hurts. It’s hard to breathe. Your body feels heavy and you break into cold sweat from worrying over your blog. Grab a paper bag! Here comes the panic attack!!!
3. You have attention and sleep problems.
All you think about is your blog and you have trouble thinking about anything else. You find it hard to focus on simple tasks, and you can’t sleep at night because you want to check your blog.
4. Your home is filled with books about blogging.
You don’t actually read them because you’re checking your blog all the time. You just like to buy them. Just in case.
5. You stalk everyone who has ever liked or commented on your posts.
Using your computer skills, you hack into their accounts and find out everything about them. You don’t want a murderer or a pedophile around your blog, after all.
Oh, this guy lives near me. Perhaps I should drop by his place and ask him what he liked the most about my blog.
6. Your blog is your social life.
You refuse invitations from your family, friends and coworkers to go out. Unlike them, you’re super busy making your blog perfect for your 3 followers who have been so loyal to you this past 5 years. They never comment, but of course they’re just being shy.
7. You over-explain your blog.
You write detailed descriptions of your blog, its features, and even write an instruction manual on how to navigate your blog that rivals an astronaut’s manual on how to launch a spaceship. Your “About” page is longer than all the Harry Potter books combined.
8. You tell everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, to go check your blog.
You get to meet Taylor Swift at a backstage meet and greet in one of her concerts. She’s your most favourite celebrity ever! You tell her to check your blog. You wait and wait and wait. Taylor Swift has betrayed you! How dare she! You’re never ever ever getting back together with her! EVER!
9. You’re out for blood whenever someone disagrees with your post.
Who does this prick think he is? What an a-hole! Oh, he’s going to get it. First is locate his IP address, then his home address, telephone and cellphone numbers, bank account and credit card information. . . .
10. Your blog is your life.
If someone slices your head open, they’re going to find your whole blog inside it and nothing else. All your thoughts and feelings are about your blog. You even dream about your blog every time you sleep. Your whole life is centred around your blog.
Are you a helicopter blogger?
Disclaimer: This post is intended for entertainment purposes only. Read it at your own risk. Fujinsei and Arria Cross accept no responsibility whatsoever for the content of this post, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided above. Arria Cross is only a humble blogger with no license in either physical or psychiatric medicine. If you are experiencing any or all of these symptoms, please consult with a licensed doctor immediately. Something’s clearly wrong with you. Ah, scary~
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