10 Symptoms Showing That You Might be a Helicopter Blogger

I’m sure you already heard of “helicopter parents”.  It’s a term for obsessively overprotective parents who “hover” around their children; thus the term “helicopter”.

As bloggers, especially personal bloggers like me, we all aim to carve our place in this vast blogosphere.  We want our blogs to succeed.  We need to spend time and effort in order to have successful blogs, even though the definition of “successful” differs for each blogger.  That’s why despite our busy personal lives, we still make sure to take some time to write posts and interact with other bloggers.  Some do it a little everyday.  Some once or twice a week.  Some even do it once a month or less.  All common, but what is too much blogging?

There is a fine line between blogging for success and blogging because you’re completely obsessed and addicted.

If you’re blogging for success, then you probably follow a strategy to maximize your blog’s potential.  It’s completely different to blogging because you’re addicted and can’t function like a normal human being without checking your blog every minute of the day.  I call this kind of blogger a “helicopter blogger”.  My term!

Find out whether or not you’re a helicopter blogger from my compiled list of symptoms below:

10 Symptoms Showing That You Might be a Helicopter Blogger

1. You chronically have the urge to check your blog.
Has anyone read my new post yet? I wonder how many likes I have right now. Are there any new comments? How many blog views? What if there aren’t any? Oh no! Is my blog alright? What if it’s hacked? I need to check I need to check I need to check I need to check I NEED TO CHECK MY BLOG RIGHT NOW!!!!!

2. You feel something akin to physical pain if you don’t check your blog.
Your chest hurts. It’s hard to breathe. Your body feels heavy and you break into cold sweat from worrying over your blog. Grab a paper bag! Here comes the panic attack!!!

light yagami angry - death note

3. You have attention and sleep problems.
All you think about is your blog and you have trouble thinking about anything else. You find it hard to focus on simple tasks, and you can’t sleep at night because you want to check your blog.

4. Your home is filled with books about blogging.
You don’t actually read them because you’re checking your blog all the time. You just like to buy them. Just in case.

5. You stalk everyone who has ever liked or commented on your posts.
Using your computer skills, you hack into their accounts and find out everything about them. You don’t want a murderer or a pedophile around your blog, after all.

EVIL~

Oh, this guy lives near me. Perhaps I should drop by his place and ask him what he liked the most about my blog.

6. Your blog is your social life.
You refuse invitations from your family, friends and coworkers to go out. Unlike them, you’re super busy making your blog perfect for your 3 followers who have been so loyal to you this past 5 years. They never comment, but of course they’re just being shy.

7. You over-explain your blog.
You write detailed descriptions of your blog, its features, and even write an instruction manual on how to navigate your blog that rivals an astronaut’s manual on how to launch a spaceship. Your “About” page is longer than all the Harry Potter books combined.

typing fast-anime gif

8. You tell everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, to go check your blog.
You get to meet Taylor Swift at a backstage meet and greet in one of her concerts. She’s your most favourite celebrity ever! You tell her to check your blog. You wait and wait and wait. Taylor Swift has betrayed you! How dare she! You’re never ever ever getting back together with her! EVER!

9. You’re out for blood whenever someone disagrees with your post.
Who does this prick think he is? What an a-hole! Oh, he’s going to get it. First is locate his IP address, then his home address, telephone and cellphone numbers, bank account and credit card information. . . .

anime girl crazy

10. Your blog is your life.
If someone slices your head open, they’re going to find your whole blog inside it and nothing else. All your thoughts and feelings are about your blog. You even dream about your blog every time you sleep. Your whole life is centred around your blog.

Are you a helicopter blogger?


Disclaimer:  This post is intended for entertainment purposes only.  Read it at your own risk.  Fujinsei and Arria Cross accept no responsibility whatsoever for the content of this post, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided above.  Arria Cross is only a humble blogger with no license in either physical or psychiatric medicine.  If you are experiencing any or all of these symptoms, please consult with a licensed doctor immediately.  Something’s clearly wrong with you.  Ah, scary~


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80 thoughts on “10 Symptoms Showing That You Might be a Helicopter Blogger”

  1. What a great new term! If I ever find myself using it on my own site, I’ll be sure to credit you 😉

    Having gone through your 10 symptoms, I can say that I am about 50/60% helicopter blogger. Maybe that makes me a hand glider blogger? Haha.

    As hilarious as this piece was, it does raise a really fascinating topic. I think there’s a certain amount of obsession with all bloggers, especially those of us that manage to survive, as unfortunately many blogs bite the dust.

    Like

    1. Ahahaha! Thanks. And yes, please. I would appreciate it, if that’s the case. Oh wow, you’re kind of almost hardcore. Indeed, I think for many of us, we have some form of an obsession for blogging because if not, then why do we do this consistently, right? I think it’s just a matter of balancing with the other aspects of our lives and not letting it rule over our other responsibilities. Thanks for dropping by and commenting. Keep on blogging. Cheers!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. A pity I saw this just now so let me answer them one by one to see if I also have this Hellicopter Blogger Syndrome. I wonder if its curable?

    I have the urge to check my blog site everyday since I just had a post paid internet connection last May, but not every minute or every second.
    Nope, haven’t experienced any of those since I started blogging in wordpress.
    Nope. I sleep properly now since I stopped my medication, but blogging, or being deprived of blogging never gave me sleep issues.
    I have a lot of books in my home; both fiction and non-fiction books (like grammar and English text books) but none about blogging. I guess I just learned it each time I made blogs or read other blogs.
    Nope, I have not stalked any bloggers although I did stalked a member in the forums site where Im still a member to this day ( Its about Clannad so I just did that out of vengance but only briefly. After that I stalked no nore).
    Im not sociable but I can interact people however I never made a priority for blogging to be my permanent social life.
    If can make a lenghty blog that can rival a spaceship’s manual, then Id rather be a novelist and put my Bodgie’s Island LN project into full swing right now.
    I only advertise on my face book page but its up to them whether they read it or not.
    I actually do t care if they disagree. Its their right and its their opinion.
    Blogs are a part of my life, and not my life.

    So there ya go! It was long but judging from my answers, Im a bona fide not infected with that hellicopter blogger syndrome. Good, and I thought I’ll burn money on psychiatrict help again like last time.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nice post!

    “Did Arria respond yet? I must find out!”
    F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5…

    Now I must go tell everyone how awesome my blog is and HOW DARE YOU NOT LOVE MARS, PLEASE SAVE MY EARTH, AND FRUITS BASKET IS OVERRATED AND have I mentioned how awesome my blog is and has anyone responded yet??? F5 F5 F5 F5…

    😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahahahaha! You comment is more hilarious than my post, President Krystallina. Kind of scary though. . . .
      -___-
      But I do love PSME & I do agree that Fruits Basket is overrated, although I did enjoy it when I first watched it when I was way younger. Mars. . .still on my to-read list. Ehehehe. Thanks for dropping by, Ms. President.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Haha, what a great post this one. Truly enjoyed reading this, and had to laugh quite a few times. Have ofcourse checked all the points, and erm I think I am safe for now, for not being a “helicopter blogger” ….emphasis on “for now ” lol 😀

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re absolutely correct. Yay! You remember, Crim. I mentioned on Twitter that I’m tweaking my site at the moment, so I won’t be able to post new content until I’m done with the changes. That’s why I’ll be republishing some of my old posts and this is one of them. Just to keep the blog active while I’m busy tweaking. Thanks! 😁

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahaha! That’s fine. I know what you mean. There’s also a lot of tweets from our friends that I always miss. Anyway, I just feel happy that you somehow remember this post. Thanks for dropping by, Crim!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant! Could not stop laughing through this. Light’s face reminded me of the meme ‘I’m going to take this cake, and eat it!’, fits perfectly! This is just like addicted Facebook users needing to have their ‘face-kick’ every five seconds and crying in a corner when something doesn’t get liked! This blog was so much fun, keep it up! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. 😉
      I saw that meme! You’re right. This may not apply only to bloggers but also to users of other social media platforms. It’s just so addicting, to be honest, especially if we’re not careful. I’m glad that you enjoyed this post. Makes me happy. And thank you very much for dropping by and commenting. Cheers!

      Like

  6. This was hilarious! XD
    It stung a little as well because I’m like “surely it’s not that bad when you are focused on your blog”.
    I’ve personally gone from two extremes, from not paying any attention to all I want to do is blog

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you find it hilarious. It’s meant to be hilarious, but at the same time it’s also supposed to sting a little because I based these from average blogging behaviours and just multiplied them about 100 times.

      Well, that can happen. I’ve experienced that too before. Balance is key. Too much is bad, but too little is not good too. Thanks for sharing your opinions. I hope that you’re enjoying blogging. Cheers!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahaha! That’s so cool! I hope that you’re enjoying yourself so far. Really? Are you sure? These are exaggerations, meant solely for entertainment. But your blog is still new so caring & “hovering” around your blog often is normal at this stage. Just have fun. Cheers!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Yes it’s extremely bad…just kidding! XD
      It depends on your commitments, if you’re dodging your commitments to focus on your blog then you need to re-prioritise. However I don’t see an issue with focusing on the blog if that’s what you truly wanted to do

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Ahaha! XD
      I just took my current behaviours right now and exaggerated them a hundred times over. I didn’t know that these exaggerated behaviours would accurately describe you as a blogger. Scary~
      Maybe tone it down a bit? Ahahaha!
      😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I usually check my blog often just make sure I respond to people and haven’t forgot them. However, I still remember the blog discussion you made back then about taking breaks. I am still practicing on it 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Same here. Oh, that’s good. Thanks. I didn’t think you’ll remember that post. It’s healthy to take a break whenever you feel burn-out. But it doesn’t feel like you’re on a break, though. Are you right now?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Well yes and no. I haven’t been blogging much compared to October because it’s starting to get really busy at college with these remaining weeks. I wanted to do more reviews on books and games but I got preoccupied. I am still doing those TGIF posts.

        Like

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