Achieving Enlightenment the Otaku Way
Osu! Greetings, shokun! It is I, Cross-shishou, back again for another set of Fujinsei Kempo lessons. In our previous republished lesson “10 Things From Shoujo Series That You Should Learn “Not” To Do”, I reminded you of some of the genre’s cliché that aren’t worth emulating by you. Today, I’ll help you diagnose if you’ve watched too much Death Note. Shall we start? Here we go. Osu!
13 Signs That You’ve Watched Too Much Death Note
1. You eat way too much sweets.
lf the great L can do it, why can’t I?
3. You insist on being called by a single-letter initial instead of your name.
It sounds cooler and mysterious that way.
4. You recruit your grandfather or the kindly neighbourhood old man to represent you.
You need to have your own version of Watari, after all.
5. Your dream is to get a black notebook you see falling from the sky.
6. You write the names of your enemies in a black notebook.
7. You are delusional and think that you can cleanse the world of evil and act like a god whenever you hold a black notebook.
8. You perfect your iconic Light laugh.
9. Whenever you see someone choking with bulging eyes and clutching chest, you point at the person and exclaim: “Someone wrote your name on a Death Note!”
10. You shriek in delight whenever you see an unusual shadow. Is that you, Ryuk? Rem?
Can I get your autograph? I’m a big fan of yours. Please sign on my Death Note.
11. You buy lots of apples hoping to attract some shinigami.
12. Your pets are named Near & Mello.
You also name them the heirs to your everything when you die.
13. You’re not easily scammed.
You refuse to write your name into just any paper. You never know when it’s a page from a Death Note.
There is no doubt that Death Note is genius. However, imitating what you watched from it and modelling yourself from its characters are, frankly, stupid and not to mention extremely dangerous. I hope that you enjoyed today’s lesson. That’s all for today, shokun! I’ll be back again soon for another set of Fujinsei Kempo lessons. Osu!
Founder of Fujinsei Kempo
Disclaimer: Study and follow the teachings of Fujinsei Kempo at your own risk. Fujinsei and its main author Arria Cross accept no responsibility whatsoever for the content of this post, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided above. Arria urges you to blame Cross-shishou for any issues you encounter while following Fujinsei Kempo teachings. But Arria wants you to remember that Cross-shishou is a mere alter ego, someone without tangible form. So if you want to blame someone, you might as well blame yourself. You’ve been warned.
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