Achieving Enlightenment the Otaku Way

Osu!  Greetings, shokun!  It is I, Cross-shishou, back again for another set of Fujinsei Kempo lessons.  In our previous republished lesson “10 Things From Shoujo Series That You Should Learn “Not” To Do”, I reminded you of some of the genre’s cliché that aren’t worth emulating by you.  Today, I’ll help you diagnose if you’ve watched too much Death Note.  Shall we start?  Here we go.  Osu!

13 Signs That You’ve Watched Too Much Death Note

1. You eat way too much sweets.
lf the great L can do it, why can’t I?

L eating - death note

2. You squat whenever you sit.
What? You don’t know? Squatting actually makes you more human. Not to mention that squatting is the most natural position to poop. Nah, I squat because L’s my idol.


3. You insist on being called by a single-letter initial instead of your name.
It sounds cooler and mysterious that way.

l-death note

4. You recruit your grandfather or the kindly neighbourhood old man to represent you.
You need to have your own version of Watari, after all.


5. Your dream is to get a black notebook you see falling from the sky.

light-death note

6. You write the names of your enemies in a black notebook.

7. You are delusional and think that you can cleanse the world of evil and act like a god whenever you hold a black notebook.

8. You perfect your iconic Light laugh.

9. Whenever you see someone choking with bulging eyes and clutching chest, you point at the person and exclaim: “Someone wrote your name on a Death Note!”

10. You shriek in delight whenever you see an unusual shadow. Is that you, Ryuk? Rem?
Can I get your autograph? I’m a big fan of yours. Please sign on my Death Note.

11. You buy lots of apples hoping to attract some shinigami.


12. Your pets are named Near & Mello.
You also name them the heirs to your everything when you die.

13. You’re not easily scammed.
You refuse to write your name into just any paper. You never know when it’s a page from a Death Note.

There is no doubt that Death Note is genius.  However, imitating what you watched from it and modelling yourself from its characters are, frankly, stupid and not to mention extremely dangerous.  I hope that you enjoyed today’s lesson.  That’s all for today, shokun!  I’ll be back again soon for another set of Fujinsei Kempo lessons.  Osu!

Founder of Fujinsei Kempo

Disclaimer:  Study and follow the teachings of Fujinsei Kempo at your own risk.  Fujinsei and its main author Arria Cross accept no responsibility whatsoever for the content of this post, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided above.  Arria urges you to blame Cross-shishou for any issues you encounter while following Fujinsei Kempo teachings.  But Arria wants you to remember that Cross-shishou is a mere alter ego, someone without tangible form.  So if you want to blame someone, you might as well blame yourself.  You’ve been warned.

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Published by Arria Cross

Blogger at fujinsei.com since 2014. Currently a webnovelist. Check out my work "His Genius is a Superstar".

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    I speak from the beyond, from inside this grave, this was great ohmgee xDDD
    I also now know who’s a big fan of Death Note and notices the signs ;P

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Really? You don’t like sweets? I think that’s the most normal one and to a lesser extent, the one about squatting. I think that Filipinos squat a lot and we’re comfortable with it. Ahaha! What are the names of your pets that are based on anime characters?


  2. Really funny list. I enjoyed reading them. There are times I wish I like Light or L. I think I am close to L because I do squat instead of sitting and I do like eating sweets. Also to add on that, I do have shadows under my eyes haha. Great post by the way :).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, bro! Ahahaha. That’ so funny. I can just imagine. Same here. Although I don’t really squat all the time, but I do like sitting cross-legged on the floor instead of sitting on a chair. And of course, I love sweets too! High-five! And thanks again. I really enjoyed writing this post.

      P.S. You should get more hours of sleep.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome sis! You sit like Near? That’s cool. Who doesn’t love sweets XD. High-Five!! These posts are quite funny. It really makes you think if you do watch too much lol.
        I know I need rest especially if I have work. I have a habit of staying up late haha.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes, I do! I feel more comfortable when I’m sitting cross-legged on the floor. Yay! I’m glad. Indeed, only people who’ve watched and paid attention to Death Note will get the references that I’ve listed here. You got them, so I KNOW that you’ve watched (too much) Death Note. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That’s pretty interesting. If it helps you feel comfortable, I support you! As a guy who enjoyed the anime, I think some of the points affected me XD. To be honest, I saw this anime two times! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yes. It’s also easier to do stretches while sitting cross-legged on the floor while watching anime. Ehehehe~
        Ahahaha! You’ve definitely watched to much Death Note. . .although let me say that I’ve watch this. ..well, I’m not going to say the exact number of times. Hint: more than 5 times.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Sounds like you have your comfort zone. Watching anime and relaxing are the best combination :D.
        More than 5 times?! Wow! Haha Death Note is quite popular. I will admit, when I write my papers in school, I imagine myself as Light and dramatically write. “I will take a potato chip, and eat it!”

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Yes. I used to watch it all the time before. I still watch some episodes when I get the urge to do so now and then. Ahahaha! I know the feeling. The characters leave very strong impressions on us, so it’s understandable that we sometimes imitate some of their mannerisms.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. That’s neat. Death Note is an anime that it can still be enjoyable no matter how many times you watch hahaha. The characters are very odd in their own way and it’s funny how we secretly imitate them like you said. I bet one of us even felt like being Kira.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha wow that was a fun list… wait…

    “You insist on being called by a single-letter initial instead of your name.”
    I swear my username has nothing to do with Death Note.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ahahahaha! Ahahahaha! Are you sure? Hmmm. Perhaps it’s got something to do with ONE PIECE? You know, all those D stuff.
      And thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed this post. I appreciate it. Cheers!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t even watch One Piece! I have no idea what D has to do with it! Actually now that I think of it, the most I’ve seen “D” used is as a euphemism for dick…god I didn’t think this through…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Gasp! Oh my gosh. I didn’t read that. Ahahaha! Nooooo! Ahahaha. Yes, I can totally see that you didn’t think this through.

        P.S. You should really try watching ONE PIECE. It’s my #1 favourite series.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Hmm on second thought, maybe it is fitting given my penchant for sex jokes in rl…

        And One Piece terrifies me ’cause it’s got 700+ episodes and I think that’s probably more than every other anime in my ‘to watch’ list combined

        Liked by 1 person

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