Dear Girl ~Stories~ Episode 7 Recap & Selected Translations
by Arria Cross
Ep. 7 Title: 浩史はパステルに夢中 (Hiroshi wa Pasteru ni muchuu / Hiroshi is obsessed with Pastel)
Original Airdate: May 19, 2007
The 7th episode of the show starts. Immediately, the two are in seiyuu-mode using their best calm voices while greeting their listeners and introducing themselves. We learn the reason why. Kamiya reveals that there’s a reporter present intending to observe them while they’re doing the show. They repeatedly emphasize that they’re going to “do things as usual”, even though it’s obvious that they’re not their usual selves. So funny.
OnoD: As we all know, this is a very peaceful show.
Kamiya: Of course. We’re always like this.
OnoD: Yes. For the entire duration of the show, we’re always like this. We’re not like those other noisy shows.
Kamiya: Of course not. We always speak in calm tones like this.
Then they try to stop their laughs from bursting out but fail. OnoD observes that they seem to be making excuses. Kamiya continues by saying that OnoD should remain naturally handsome as usual. OnoD tries to return the, ahem, “compliment” by observing that Kamiya’s hair that day looks good. And of course, Kamiya quickly retorts with an insult saying that OnoD’s eyes look dead. Then he quickly reads the show’s official greeting.
OnoD: Hiroshi wa Pasteru ni muchuu. (Hiroshi is obsessed with Pastel.)
*Pastel Desserts sells different types of sweets such as puddings, cakes, etc. Visit the Japanese website here.
It’s so funny how they keep on using their best cool seiyuu voices. But it seems that OnoD is getting tired of it.
OnoD: Uhm…how long do we have to keep on doing this?
Kamiya: What? Just talk in the same way that you normally do. It’s not an issue of how long do you have to keep on doing this—
OnoD: Hiroshi, I’m about to reach my limit.
Kamiya: Fine, let’s read these Futsu Ota letters the usual way we always do, then.
OnoD: Thank goodness! The Kamiya-san in ecstasy with Pastel Desserts is finally back.
Kamiya: I love Pastel puddings.
Letter 1 sent by Momomaron-san, read by OnoD:
Hiroshi-san, OnoD-san, good evening. I stay updated about the latest news about you every time. Kamiya-san, thank you for your hard work at your live event in Osaka the other day. This is my request. Please share your thoughts about the event for your fans who didn’t get to attend.
Kamiya: Aaaaaah. Right. That live event was generously promoted in this show. So yeah. It went well. I was able to arrive and leave Osaka safely.
OnoD: How was Osaka?
Kamiya: Uhm, it was very fun. But I was quite worried at first that not a lot of people would come because the promotion period for the event was quite shorter than normal. But tens of thousands of people ended up coming, and I’m so relieved and thankful.
OnoD: Wow. That’s awesome!
Kamiya: They kindly welcomed and even presented me with lots of surprises.
OnoD: Oh. So there were surprises?
Kamiya: That’s right. The sort of theme of the event was “I’m home”, sort of like a commemoration of my return there. I saw all these people shaking pompoms and screaming for me, and I was like, “What the heck is this?” I almost felt like I wanted to run away. Ahahaha!
OnoD: Hey, hey. Wait a minute. Weren’t you satisfied with that kind of welcome?
Kamiya: I just meant that I was so surprised. The truth is that I’m extremely thankful for their kind and warm welcome for me.
Kamiya then goes into quite a long thank you speech for all the people who attended his Osaka live event and warmly welcomed him, and also for the fans who couldn’t come but still supported him. Then he promises that he’ll continue to work hard as a seiyuu, to which the two of them laugh because Kamiya is becoming too dramatic. Then OnoD wistfully says that he also wanted to attend Kamiya’s event, and would’ve asked his manager to clear his schedule. Then he asks Kamiya what kind of things they talked about during the event.
Kamiya: Someone actually asked about this show. They asked me, “What do you think of Ono-san?” And I answered, “I don’t really think that much of him.”
OnoD: (pause) You’re really a tsundere, aren’t you?
Kamiya: It’s not really an issue of whether I’m a tsundere or not. I just gave an honest answer and that’s that I don’t really think that much of you.
OnoD: It’s just that…it’s just that your words are really painful. They’re more painful than being stabbed by chopsticks or a pole.
Aaaaw. I feel sorry for OnoD. He did his best, however, to ask more about the event but Kamiya doesn’t really elaborate much, just sharing some general things.
Letter 2 sent by Papaya Sachio-san from Chiba:
Kamiya-san and D-san, good evening.
All: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
OnoD: You’ve typed my name too fast.
Letter 2 sent by Papaya Sachio-san from Chiba:
Recently, my dad smells really stinky. He smells of something like garlic, sake…it’s the smell of an old man.
Kamiya: She’s 14 years old.
OnoD: She’s 14?
Kamiya: I bet that if a father hears that his 14-year old daughter thinks that he’s stinky, he’ll be incredibly shocked.
OnoD: This sucks, doesn’t it? Well, not that the two of us have daughters but…
Kamiya: Uwah~ If my daughter tells me, “Dad, you stink!”, I’ll cry!
OnoD: Right? And your daughter tells you, “I don’t want our shoes to be washed together.”
Kamiya: And if she tells you that she doesn’t want your pants to be washed together with her clothes. Uwah! I’ll be so shocked. If I was the father of a daughter like this, I can’t imagine how shocked I’ll be.
Kamiya: Unfortunately, I can’t really imagine how the papa of Papaya Sachio-san thinks of his daughter, but I’m sure that if I have my own daughter—not that I have one—I’m sure it would be of how cute my child is.
OnoD: I have a feeling that your child will be so cute. A cattish kind of cute.
Kamiya: Yeah…if I had a daughter, I would immediately give her own phone.
OnoD: Ahahaha! A GPS phone?
Kamiya: Of course! I would check where she is all the time.
OnoD: Uwah! What an annoying dad!
Kamiya: Don’t call me an annoying dad!
OnoD: It’s just that…
OnoD: You’re not giving your daughter any freedom at all. Especially if she’s a 14 year old girl, I’m sure that she would want to go to lots of different places.
Kamiya: Then I’ll go with her.
OnoD: Go with her?! Uwahahaha.
Kamiya: Yeah. Papa will go with her.
Kamiya: It’s not annoying. Well… (in a cuter voice) I’m not gonna be an annoying dad. Say that I’m not going to be an annoying dad.
OnoD: Why are you suddenly talking cutely?
Kamiya: Let’s just go back to her letter and think of ways to minimize her dad’s stink.
OnoD: Minimize stink? How? For example…?
Kamiya: Something like use fragrance?
OnoD: There’s no way a mere fragrance can mask the strong smell of an old man.
Kamiya: That’s true.
OnoD: Old man smell is really strong, you know.
Kamiya: Speaking of old man smell, it has a spicy scent, doesn’t it?
OnoD: Kamiya-san, you’re reaching the age where you’ll smell spicy soon, you know!
Kamiya: No way! Not gonna happen. And if it ever happens, I’ll do my best to mask the smell for my daughter’s sake.
OnoD: Ah! I just have a thought. What if I date your daughter, Kamiya-san?
Kamiya: There’s absolutely no way I’ll allow that!!!!
OnoD: Why not? Why not?!!
Kamiya: Of course I won’t allow it.
OnoD: I’ll treasure her.
Kamiya: Treasure her?! Huh?!! Don’t joke around! Why should I give you my daughter—not that I have one…and I don’t know why I’m reacting like this when I don’t have a daughter—but no way I’ll give my daughter to you!
Kamiya: No way! And don’t decide my daughter’s name yourself. I won’t give that name to my daughter.
OnoD: Please give me Hiroko.
Kamiya: No way.
OnoD: Why not?
Kamiya: Absolutely not.
OnoD: I’ll properly feed her.
Kamiya: Still no.
OnoD: I’ll properly provide food for her. I’ll work hard for her.
Kamiya: You’re so annoying. I absolutely won’t allow it.
OnoD: I’ll work hard to buy us an apartment.
Kamiya: My daughter only deserves to live in a house. Anything other than that is unacceptable.
Kamiya: And she has to live with me even after she marries.
OnoD: Oooohoho~ Two generations under one roof.
OnoD: I wouldn’t want to live with an in-law.
Kamiya: Then you’re no good for my daughter.
Kamiya: How dare you cluck your tongue at me?!!! Ahahaha!
Kamiya: I’m your senpai…and your father!!!
Kamiya: How dare you cluck your tongue at me?!
OnoD: Ah, so you’re my senpai and father? Oh wow.
Kamiya: With that attitude, you’re really no good for my daughter.
OnoD: Then I’ll ask the mother instead.
Kamiya: There’s no mother.
OnoD: Ah, the delusions.
Kamiya: You’re really terrible.
Dear Girl Jouhou
The website is redesigned to be easier to use, and contents written by their new female staff will be made available.
This time they feature Sylph Comics Reader’s Corner manga St. Sylph Academy Trick Department (聖シルフ学園トリック科 / Sei Shirufu Gakuen Torikku-ka) which is overseen by art editor Okachimachi Hato (御徒町ハト), who we discover is the “reporter” they were talking about at the beginning of the show.
They introduce the story filled with fairy characters. And it seems that Kamiya and OnoD’s characters here are as wind fairies. And it seems that there’s a scene where Kamiya’s character did a fortune-telling of OnoD climbing a mountain carrying a huge bag, not giving up until he reaches the top. This may be a symbolism to a seiyuu’s proverbial “peak” of career (not sure; this is just me speculating), and OnoD is almost there. Ahaha. Then afterwards, OnoD asks Kamiya if there is someone climbing the mountain with him. Kamiya says that there’s a premonition of a potential love interest but there’s a big probability that the two of them will hurt each other.
OnoD: Hooo~ So I’ll be in that kind of relationship with Hiroko, huh?
Kamiya: Hiroko? Aah, my daughter?
Kamiya: I’ll send you flying, you know.
OnoD: Yes, your daughter.
Kamiya: My daughter will surely be cute.
OnoD: Of course. She’ll be cute.
Kamiya: No doubt about it. My daughter will be super cute.
OnoD: She’s cute, that’s why I’ll date her…
Kamiya: And please don’t name her Hiroko.
OnoD: Ahaha! So she’s not Hiroko. How about Hiroe?
Kamiya: Hiroe, huh?
OnoD: Hiroe is a good name, isn’t it?
Kamiya cuts the ridiculous conversation by moving on with the program to reading the Nayami Letter.
Okachimachi Hato-sensei’s Nayami Story:
I love ramen, but whenever I eat it, I always choke. Is there a cool way to choke? If it’s alright with you, please show me.
Kamiya: Pft! What’s with this self-important way of asking? Interesting. Ahahaha!
OnoD: We got another interesting nayami letter today.
Kamiya: Indeed. We do our best to go with the flow with this kind of letters, but is this really a nayami letter? (insinuating that Okachimachi-sensei’s problem doesn’t seem like it’s really a problem at all and don’t deserve to be called a “nayami” letter)
It seems that Okachimachi’s facial expression tells them that it’s a big problem for her, so the two have no choice but to help her fulfill her request and think of a cool way to choke. Kamiya shares that there are times when snot drips from his nose when he eats, so now he sees how sensei’s problem can be serious. OnoD agrees, saying that there are also times when snot drips down his nose while eating ramen. OnoD then shares an incident at work where he spilled coffee so he took out a tissue, and then others commented that it’s rare to see a guy with tissues. Kamiya finds the comment ridiculous, saying that even guys have tissues. Then Kamiya suddenly shares that there are five times the normal number of staff present that day. It seems that the people are there to keep them in check and prevent them from doing anything unnecessary.
Kamiya: Now let’s return to our original topic, a cool way to choke while eating. Ono-kun, show Hato-sensei how to choke in a cool way. Start!
OnoD: (starts making slurping sounds and then clearing his throat as if he’s choking, but it also sounds like he’s doing something perverted)
Kamiya: That’s so kimochi-warui! (banging the table)
OnoD: I just made a discovery that when you choke, there’s this special type of breath you take that means “I realize that I’m choking”. It’s the “ah!” sound you make.
Kamiya: There’s no such thing!
OnoD: Ahahahaha! It’s a camera-worthy breath. Ah!
Kamiya: Ah! Aahh~ (suddenly making sexy sounds)
So funny. OnoD explains that for seiyuu like them, they do that sound when they have to portray a character who suddenly chokes. Kamiya agrees but remains skeptical that it’s not something a normal person does in real life. He tries it himself to make a point.
Kamiya: (makes slurping sound and pretends to choke and then sexily exclaims) Aah! There it is. That sounds like some big pervert.
OnoD: Ahahaha! So interesting.
Kamiya: It’s interesting but not cool.
OnoD: Not cool?
Kamiya: It’s not cool.
OnoD: So we’re no good, Hato-sensei?
It seems that Okachimachi-sensei signs that it’s no good. So funny.
OnoD reads the official intro for the corner, but Kamiya cuts him off, commenting that OnoD sounds unexcited.
Sent by Ayako-san, read by Kamiya.
Yabai! Ashita na no ni!!!
(Oh shoot! It’s tomorrow!!!)
Kamiya asks in what kind of situations this phrase is used. OnoD answers that he’ll use it when meeting deadlines. Kamiya asks what kind of deadline does he mean. OnoD replies that recently he has an upcoming deadline to submit song lyrics for his upcoming mini-album coming out June that year. The mini-album is Hinemosu (ひねもす).
Hinemosu (ひねもす) by Ono Daisuke (小野大輔)
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Kamiya: So the official release of that album is June, right?
Kamiya: But you haven’t written the lyrics yet?
OnoD: Yes, I haven’t.
Kamiya: You’re a slacker.
Kamiya: Seiyuu are slackers, huh?
OnoD defends himself, saying that his song is difficult to write. It’s emotional, about a “sea of suffering”, so it’s not something that one can write easily.
OnoD: Have you experienced using this phrase, Kamiya-san?
Kamiya: Recently I have no concept of really differentiating between now or tomorrow.
OnoD: Ah, so you’re a very spontaneous person.
OnoD: So it’s like your time doesn’t end. Nice. But are there times that you had to hurry for work?
Kamiya: No. I’ve never been late. (Oh wow. Kamiya is such a professional!)
OnoD: Yeah, I notice that you’re always early.
Kamiya: Yeah, like when everyone wanted to play Monster Hunter Portable 2nd together, so I arrived 30 minutes early today so I could play with everyone.
Kamiya returns to OnoD’s upcoming mini-album. He orders him to put “Dear Girl ~Stories~” on the CD’s card. OnoD says that he’s not sure, but he’ll try. Then they move on to the second 1-Phrase Story.
Sent by Mokko-san, read by OnoD.
(I wonder…if this is enough.)
*This phrase is a bit tricky to translate literally without the proper context, and so I used a more liberal and contextual translation based on the two’s discussion. It can also mean, “I wonder…if we should stop now” or something like “I think…I’ve done enough”.
Kamiya thinks that this is a phrase used for someone feeling weak and suddenly out of control of things. Then he injects another Monster Hunter reference, to which OnoD goodnaturedly reprimands him. Kamiya says that he thought this was a MonHan corner, to which they laugh. OnoD asks him what other situations can this phrase be used.
Kamiya: I wonder…if we’ve had enough of Sylph Soudanshitu.
OnoD: Oy! We’ll continue to work hard for that corner.
Kamiya: Do you find that corner interesting? Even when we always give irresponsible solutions?
They joke around more, but they pledge that they will continue to work hard.
They promote the upcoming release of Sylph Comics Vol. 3. Then Kamiya notices that Okachimachi-sensei is looking at them with a scary expression.
Kamiya: Okachimachi-sensei is surprisingly a scary person. She’s saying, “Don’t call me sensei!”
OnoD: Then what should we call her?
Kamiya: (in a sexy voice) Hato.
Kamiya: Ah! She says that “Hato” is OK!
This episode is so funny. I love it! I hope that you enjoyed it as much as I did.
And that’s it for the 7th episode of DGS.
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