Achieving Enlightenment the Otaku Way
Osu! Greetings, shokun! It’s been a while, isn’t it? I hope that you are still working hard on embracing your inner otaku, and ultimately achieve enlightenment the Otaku Way. Our lesson for today is about the anime phenomenon that is called Yuri!!! on ICE. If you’re an anime fan, you must’ve at least heard of this anime. If you’re already an Icer, then this lesson is for you, as you may be in danger of watching “too much” Yuri on Ice. This is part 1 of a 2-part lesson series. Shall we start? Osu!
10 Signs That You’ve Watched Too Much Yuri!!! on ICE (Part 1)
1. You’re suddenly obsessed with figure skating.
You now like watching figure skating videos on Youtube, on the internet, and also on TV. Now you know the names of all the top professional figure skaters in the world. You give yourself a crash course on figure skating, studying the rules, the point system and the different types of technical skills in the sports. Your calendar also now includes all the major international figure skating competitions.
Photo of top skater Yuzuru Hanyu (羽生結弦 / Hanyū Yuzuru):
2. You’ve rewatched the YOI anime at least 2 times.
Or at least a hundred times. You rewatch your favourite episodes and scenes over and over, squealing and crying at the exact moments. You’ve memorized all the lines and can replay exact scenes accurately by memory.
3. You’ve memorized all YOI songs and soundtracks.
Dean Fujioka’s “History Maker” has become the theme song of your life. Not only have you memorized the tracks of all the skaters’ routines but also each of their choreography. If you’re a musician, you studied and learned how to play all of the soundtracks by heart.
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4. It’s JJ-style!
You have perfected the JJ pose. Whenever you greet others, you strike the JJ pose and yell “It’s JJ Style!” instead of saying “Nice to meet you”, complete with a wink. You also strike the pose at the most random times.
5. You totally get it whenever someone says “We were born to ship Vikturi”.
You’ve memorized all the lyrics of History Maker YAOI Version, and it’s the theme song of your Yuri on Ice fan club.
Uploaded by: Judee Zee
6. “Eros” and “Agape” are now part of your daily life.
Friend: What do you think about that guy over there?
You: Oh la la! He’s so Eros!
Other friend: Well, yeah. He’s hot, but I prefer the guy sitting at the corner there.
You: Oh my gosh! How precious! Such an Agape!
And of course, since they’re your best friends, they know exactly what you’re talking about. You’ve also organized your closet and divided your clothing into the “Eros” and the “Agape” categories.
7. Katsudon is your new favourite food.
You go out of your way to search for restaurants that serve katsudon. You crave for katsudon all the time, and you feel gloriously sexy whenever you eat it.
8. You suddenly want to learn how to pole dance.
Because you might also attract your soul mate by pole dancing just like how Yuri planted himself in Victor’s mind that fateful drunken night. And also just because pole dancing looks so damn hot and sexy.
9. You hyperventilate and drool whenever you see two males being sweet together.
Your inner fujoshi or fudanshi has been awoken, and there’s no turning back.
10. You have a newfound appreciation for the male butt.
You’ve been enlightened to the beauty of the male butt, especially male figure skaters’ butts. Who cares about biceps and abs? YOI has made your world all about that bass, bringing the booty back. You’re also on high alert, eagerly awaiting the release of that Victor figure with his glorious butt on full display.
So are you one of the Icers who have watched too much Yuri on Ice? If so, be proud! Embrace it. This is an important step towards embracing your inner otaku. I’ll be back again next week for the second part of this lesson series, “10 Signs That You’ve Watched Too Much Yuri on Ice (Part 2)”. I’ll see you then. Osu!
Founder of Fujinsei Kempo
Disclaimer: Study and follow the teachings of Fujinsei Kempo at your own risk. Fujinsei and its main author Arria Cross accept no responsibility whatsoever for the content of this post, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided above. Arria urges you to blame Cross-shishou for any issues you encounter while following Fujinsei Kempo teachings. But Arria wants you to remember that Cross-shishou is a mere alter ego, someone without tangible form. So if you want to blame someone, you might as well blame yourself. You’ve been warned.
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