Dear Girl ~Stories~ Episode 18 Recap & Selected Translations
by Arria Cross
Ep. 18 Title: ちゃんとDearGirlになるのかちょっと不安です (Chanto Dear Girl ni naru no ka chotto fuan desu / I’m a little uneasy of whether I can do Dear Girl (Stories) properly)
The 18th episode starts. Kamiya is noticeably absent, with OnoD greeting everyone alone. You can hear his nervousness. OnoD announces that Kamiya got a cold, so he couldn’t come to work. It’s a little creepy to remember that during the last episode, Kamiya announced that he might not come to work the week after (this episode) because they were forced to eat all of those weird soba toppings. And now he got sick and really couldn’t come to work. What a scary self-fulfilling prophecy. Refer to Episode 17.
OnoD does his best to speak by himself, but you can definitely hear that he’s not used to it and that he’s nervous. You can also tell that he misses Kamiya. Kamiya is usually the one who leads the discussions and it’s OnoD who follows the flow. Now that Kamiya is absent, OnoD has to initiate everything by himself. Ganbatte, OnoD!
Missing Kamiya, OnoD plays Kamiya’s chaku voices which he calls Robo HiroC. They’re also known as Mecha HiroC in other episodes.
Mecha HiroC: Shinpai kakete gomen na. (I’m sorry for making you worry.)
OnoD: Ah! It’s alright, HiroC~ I’ll be fine. I’m alright, I’m alright. I can somehow manage by myself.
Mecha HiroC: Hm? Moshikashite kinchou-shiteiru? Daijoubu. Ima made ganbattan darou? Omae nara dekirutte. Sa! Yuuki o dashite itte koi! (Hm? Are you perhaps nervous? It’s alright. You’ve been working hard until now, haven’t you? If it’s you, I’m sure you can do it. Come on! Be brave!)
OnoD: Ohoho! Uhm, uhm…an honest HiroC is cute. So cute…
Mecha HiroC: Urusai! Kawaii-tte iuna!!! (Shut up! Don’t call me cute!!!)
OnoD: Ahahaha! I’m able to do a conversation! So it’s possible to talk with Robo HiroC on radio. So HiroC, when are you returning?
Mecha HiroC: (silent)
OnoD: Eh? Eh?
Mecha HiroC: Urusai! Kawaii-tte iuna!!!
OnoD: Eh? But I didn’t say you’re cute.
OnoD is so cute playing Mecha HiroC and trying to converse with it, as if it’s the real Kamiya. I pity him a bit for resorting to Mecha HiroC just because he’s missing Kamiya. Ahaha! Even if it’s part of the script, it’s still so cute!
OnoD then reveals that it’s not possible for him to host DGS alone, so he’s going to have a guest storyteller. Guess who?
OnoD: Chanto Dear Girl ni naru no ka chotto fuan desu. (I’m a little uneasy of whether I can do Dear Girl (Stories) properly.)
OnoD announces that in place of the sick Kamiya, a guest storyteller will host the show with him. Jokingly, he says that DGS held a Storyteller Audition Tournament the day before just for this position. He says that a lot of big names auditioned, such as Nyanko-sensei (Kamiya’s beloved pet cat), Pinchman (a Kinnikuman character), Nakamura Yuuichi, and the chosen person with OnoD sitting in the studio.
Mystery Guest: Nyah Nyah~ I’m the winner, Kamiya Nyanko-sensei!
OnoD: Ahahaha! Ah, Nyanko-sensei. Thank you for coming today.
Mystery Guest: Let me tell you, Hiroshi ate too much shaved ice, that’s why he got sick!
Mystery Guest: It can’t be helped, then.
This is so funny! Afterwards, the mystery guest reveals himself as seiyuu Sugita Tomokazu (杉田 智和). Everyone claps.
The two reveal that it’s the first time they have worked together on a radio show, but they both appeared together before at live events. Specifically a live event for the release of the otome game Little Aid (リトルエイド) by TAKUYO, where they both wore taqiyah (Muslim skullcaps). They talked about wearing taqiyah of different colours from each other. They also talked about working together during a live event for the action-adventure game Dororo (どろろ) by SEGA.
Then they also talked about working together on the anime Suzumiya Haruhi (涼宮ハルヒ) where OnoD plays Koizumi Itsuki and Sugita plays the male lead role of Kyon. Other live events that they appeared together are during Neo Romance Festa (ネオロマンス フェスタ) and Vitamin X (ビタミンＸ). They are amazed at how many events they have worked together.
OnoD: In this show, people call me OnoD.
OnoD: So I’m OnoD, pleased to meet you.
Sugita: Yes, Han-D!
OnoD: Why Han-D?!
Sugita: It’s “handsome” and “Ono-D” combined.
OnoD: Don’t joke around! Ahaha!
Sugita: So you don’t like it because it sounds like a video-camera. (handicam)
OnoD: Thats right. Ahaha! What Han-D? It makes me sound like such a non-serious guy. Don’t make fun of me!
Sugita: (in a deep voice) That’s not my intention.
OnoD: What a nice voice. Like I was telling you, don’t call me handsome.
Sugita: I got it.
OnoD: So just call me OnoD, ok?
Sugita: Got it.
OnoD: As for you, Sugita? You don’t have any nicknames like this, right?
Sugita: Yeah. Because there’s really no other figure in this industry who also has the name “Sugita”, so people just call me “Sugita” and that’s it. But as for “Tomokazu”, my talent agency’s president has the same name.
OnoD: Yes, Seki-san.
Sugita: He has such a strong image as Tomokazu that I’m just known by my last name, “Sugita”.
Tomokazu Seki (関智一) is a fellow seiyuu who is also the co-founder of Atomic Monkey, the talent agency in charge of Sugita’s seiyuu career.
OnoD insists that they think about a nickname for Sugita. Sugita says that he’s been called Piyon before, prompting OnoD to say that they should give up on thinking up nicknames for Sugita. But OnoD shares that he has called Sugita “Osugi” before.
Then OnoD says that he wants to ask Sugita some questions, to which Sugita mischievously welcomes in a joking manner. So funny!
OnoD: Whenever I think about Sugita-kun, you look like someone who don’t eat rice.
Sugita: Ah, because I’m skinny?
OnoD: Yes, you’re skinny, aren’t you?
OnoD says that Sugita looks like the type who doesn’t have much appetite for real food and is satisfied with imaginary food. So funny! Sugita insists that when it’s time to eat, he eats. Then OnoD explains what the show Dear Girl ~Stories~ is about.
OnoD: “Anata no tame no”. Say it. (means “for your sake”)
Sugita: (scary voice) “Anata no tame no”…
OnoD: Hmm. Hmmm. Uhm.
Sugita: (in a comical voice) “Anata no tame no”…
OnoD: Make it more “Dear-like”.
Sugita: (in a more comical voice) Yes, yes. “Anata no tame no”…
OnoD: Why are you speaking like that?
Sugita: (trying to imitate Kamiya but failing) “Anata no tame no”…
OnoD: I give up.
Sugita: I was trying to sound like Kamiya-san…
OnoD: That was you trying to be Kamiya-san?!!!
OnoD: It’s fine. We have Robo HiroC.
OnoD tries to explain again to Sugita what DGS is all about.
OnoD: So what foods do you like?
Sugita: My favourite foods are smoked products and processed meats.
OnoD: I know about smoked products, but which processed meats? Like ham?
Sugita: Well, yeah. Smoked meats like salami.
This conversation shouldn’t be funny at all, but I’m laughing so hard. You can hear Suwa Masaru laughing loudly in the background. So funny!
OnoD: But you don’t drink alcohol, right?
Sugita: I don’t drink.
Sugita continues to joke around, randomly saying things that throws the conversation off in so many different ways. OnoD tries to keep him focused to no avail.
OnoD: You’re a baka!
Sugita: Thank you very much!
OnoD: Don’t act happy by being called “baka”! And you know, what? I understand now.
OnoD: You know, uhm. I understand it so much now. I completely understand how Kamiya-san must feel.
OnoD: I understand how he feels now. This is so troublesome.
OnoD is talking about understanding how Kamiya must feel about leading the discussions and keeping them focused. OnoD is usually the one who goes off the rails and Kamiya is the one who pulls him back and keeps the conversations on topic. Now that Kamiya is absent, OnoD has to play Kamiya’s role to the uncontrollable Sugita. So funny!
Dear Girl Johou
OnoD encourages Sugita to read Kamiya’s usual lines. At first, Sugita is unsure, even asking them if he could read it in his usual voice. Ahaha!
Kamiya’s new chaku voices will be available for download and streaming on August 17 that year.
Animelo’s Scary Summer Special is also still ongoing. Sugita reads this announcement in a dramatically scary voice, making everyone laugh. Ah, he’s hilarious.
Scary chaku voices are available for streaming. Scary Summer story submissions are also still ongoing. Winning submissions will be published plus they’ll win signed autographs from their favourite radio personalities, including OnoD & Kamiya of DGS.
Finally, they promote “Shin’en” (深淵), a song from OnoD’s mini-album Hinemosu (ひねもす) which was also written by Sugita Tomokazu. Very nice.
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They feature the manga Juusha no Gakkou (従者の学校) by Matsuyama Hanako (松山花子).
I love it when the two of them read what the manga is about. OnoD comments that it sounds like an amazing story, but their narration is even more amazing. I agree. Awesome, Sugita! Ahaha! Sugita says that he was into reading too much, that he didn’t understand what the story of the manga is about. So funny!
OnoD reads Matsuyama-sensei’s nayami story, but he messed up and had to try again. Ahaha!
Matsuyama Hanako-sensei’s Nayami Story:
Whenever I step outside, I can’t help but fall for men carrying babies. Even if some of them don’t look too handsome, just carrying their babies make them 100 times more attractive. House husbands are hot! Is it alright for a single woman like me to feel like this towards married men?
Since the two of them don’t have any kids, they won’t be able to give satisfactory answer to Matsuyama-sensei’s nayami with just their words. That’s why they have baby dolls in front of them to practice.
OnoD jokingly calls the doll, Sugita’s daughter named “Sugita Tomoko”. It seems that the doll vibrates. OnoD says that the doll is Bunka Housou’s mascot.
The two of them must act like fathers and try to console their babies. First up is Sugita.
Sugita-Papa consoling his daughter “Tomoko”
Sugita: Ah, Tomoko…Mom left us, didn’t she?
Sugita: Ah, ah! Don’t cry, don’t cry!
Sugita: You want to know where mom went? She ran off with another man.
OnoD & Suwa: Ahaha!
Sugita: Uhm, uhm. She went to India to work in order to become a Rainbowman!
OnoD & Suwa: Ahahaha!
Sugita: I see. So you like Rainbowman, huh? I see. I should’ve named you Ken’ichi instead.
Tomoko: (starts crying again)
Sugita: Don’t cry! Please don’t cry. Don’t cry because I’ve been telling you to be like those game heroines, didn’t I?
Sugita: You don’t understand what I’m talking about? Too maniac?
Sugita: Tomoko, Tomoko. Don’t cry. Don’t cry because I also want to cry, you know!
OnoD: That was amazing! That was long. You were amazing.
Sugita: What a horrible mom, right?
OnoD: Your story was amazing!
Sugita: Leaving her child to run off with another man. Horrible!
OnoD: Ehehe. But that’s the story you made up.
Sugita reveals that he loves Rainbowman. Rainbowman was an old tokusatsu TV show. Next is OnoD’s turn because Sugita persuades OnoD to try it as well. Sugita explains that if OnoD does a great job, the baby will laugh. If he performs badly, then the baby will cry. If he performs very badly, then the baby will pee. OnoD admits that he doesn’t have any idea how to perform. As he should, Sugita’s performance was excellent. Ahaha!
OnoD-Papa consoling his baby “Imoko”
OnoD: Tomoko…Ah, is it alright if I call you Tomoko? Tomoko…
Sugita: Call her Imoko instead.
OnoD: Imoko? Alright, Imoko. Hmm…It’s been 3 months, isn’t it? Hmm… It’s been 3 months since that incident happened…
OnoD: Don’t cry. Because it can’t be helped, you know. Because that bald boss…
OnoD: Wanted me to become a monk…Huh? I don’t understand why you’re laughing! Oy!
OnoD: I didn’t have any choice but to become a monk…
OnoD: Aaah! Don’t cry, don’t cry. Rather than becoming a monk…
OnoD: Huh! She’s peeing on me!
That was terrible, OnoD! Ahhhh! Sugita definitely wins this round. He conquered that story! Ahaha!
OnoD says that he felt very nervous and worried during the episode without Kamiya. Sugita then wonders about the possibility of the three of them—Kamiya, OnoD & Sugita—hosting the show together. They keep on alluding to Pinchman, a character in Kinnikuman, who they jokingly say auditioned alongside Sugita and Nyanko-sensei for the position of this episode’s guest storyteller.
Sugita thanks everyone for letting him in the show. OnoD repeats that he now completely understands Kamiya’s hardships when it comes to leading OnoD every episode.
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This was such a fun episode. Sugita is hilarious and so out of control that OnoD can barely keep him in control. Ahaha! Now he knows how Kamiya feels. I hope that you enjoyed this episode as much as I did. I certainly had tons of fun translating it.
And that’s it for the 18th episode of DGS.
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