Dear Girl ~Stories~ Episode 27 Recap & Selected Translations
by Arria Cross
Ep. 27 Title: スタジオの向こうで大人たちが真剣な顔で話してた (Sutajio no mukou de otona-tachi ga shinken na kao de hanashiteta / The adults on the other side of the studio were talking with serious faces)
The 27th episode starts. They introduce themselves in DJ-style, and it’s so funny. HiroC teases OnoD, asking him “Who are you?” because OnoD didn’t say his name clearly the first time around.
Then they promote their upcoming first public recording event as participants in Dengeki’s 15th Anniversary Festival in Makuhari Messe Hall on November 24-25, 2007. They congratulate themselves for the finalization of the event. HiroC orders everyone to work hard during the event. Both HiroC and OnoD will be present at the event. It also seems that the title for the DGS event for the festival will be 「DearGirl～Stories～ For Lover’s Only」.
HiroC: From the title alone, what image are you getting?
OnoD: Well…”rabaazu” means “koibito”, right?
HiroC: Oh! You’re smart!
OnoD: Eh? Eh?!
HiroC: You’re amazing, you know.
OnoD: Why do you say that?
HiroC: Others would have reacted differently when they hear the title. They would ask, “Eh? Is this “gomu”?”
OnoD: That’s different!
HiroC: Is this the type of event where we try to stretch our bodies like rubber?
OnoD: What kind of fetish is that? For this show to evolve into something like that! Come on! Our female listeners would misinterpret us again.
HiroC: But this show has been making us do all these crazy things from the start, right?
OnoD: Ahahaha! You’re right.
HiroC: I’m so scared. I’m really scared, you know!
OnoD: It’s not weird for this show to talk about rubbermen instead of lovers.
HiroC: We’ll all be like “Gomu Gomu no!”
*”rabaazu” is the Japanese pronunciation for “lovers”; “rabaa” is the Japanese pronuciation for both “lover” and “rubber”
koibito = lover
gomu = rubber
gomu ningen = rubberman (e.g. Monkey D. Luffy of ONE PIECE)
Gomu Gomu no = what the character of Luffy shouts when he attacks
They continue talking about what kind of things they may have to do if the event is really about rubbers. They’ll have to stretch their bodies and hurt themselves. Then they joke about how there may be people who’d think that this is true and start writing it as fact in “Horrorpedia” again.
OnoD: Sutajio no mukou de otona-tachi ga shinken na kao de hanashiteta. (The adults on the other side of the studio were talking with serious faces.)
HiroC: That’s true. It’s a little scary.
They say that they’re now slowly getting used to the new title “Futsu Sto”.
Sent by Natsumi from Niigata Prefecture, read by HiroC:
Good evening HiroC-san & OnoD-san! I want to go on a trip to Hokkaido but I’m really worried about bears. If a bear really appears, what should I do?
HiroC: This is a very prejudiced view of Hokkaido, isn’t it?
OnoD: Very true.
OnoD: It’s like they’re saying that all of Hokkaido is teeming with bears.
HiroC: She’s scared of bears, but she really wants to go to Hokkaido, so what should she do?
OnoD: So she’s that kind of person, huh?
HiroC: Yes, so what should she do, OnoD?
OnoD: If a bear appears before her?
OnoD: Don’t they say that you should play dead?
HiroC: But it seems that playing dead is the most dangerous thing to do.
OnoD: Ah, is that so?
OnoD: So you’ll get attacked instead if you do that?
OnoD: Aaaah…then what to do instead? Bears, huh…
OnoD: Bears like honey, don’t they?
HiroC: Ahahaha! (claps)
OnoD: So with the honey—
HiroC: That’s your best line today. The best. Ahaha.
OnoD: I’ll cover my whole body with honey.
HiroC: You say you’re going to cover yourself with honey, but what are you going to do about Natsumi-san? Come now.
OnoD: I’ll cover myself and…
HiroC: Become the sacrifice?
OnoD: And then distract the bear.
HiroC: You’ll be like, “Come here, bear!”
OnoD: I’ll be like, “Here! The honey’s here!”
HiroC: But if that happens, without a doubt, you’re gonna die, Ono-kun.
OnoD: But honey is something you lick, right?
HiroC: Yes. You can’t really bite it.
OnoD: Yeah, so I think—
HiroC: The bear will be like, “This human tastes like honey”, so maybe it won’t eat you.
OnoD: The bear spoke!
OnoD: Hmm. Ah! We’ll take Kusunoki Taiten-san.
HiroC: Ah, Taiten? What are you going to do with him? Ahaha. Why? Wait a minute.
HiroC: What are you gonna do with Taiten-san?
OnoD: That person looks like a bear, doesn’t he?
OnoD: (impersonating Taiten talking to the bear) You…Hey, you…
HiroC: (impersonating Taiten) Don’t mess with me!
OnoD: (impersonating Taiten) So you’re a bear?
HiroC: (impersonating Taiten) Don’t you dare mess with me! You want my tonkotsu soup?
HiroC: And then he and the bear will become best friends.
Kusunoki Taiten (楠 大典) is a fellow seiyuu. Oh my gosh. So funny! HiroC tells Natsumi to make sure to invite Taiten because with OnoD he’ll just end up being a sacrifice.
Sent by Mamemochi from Tokushima Prefecture, read by OnoD:
Hello HiroC-san & OnoD-san! I live by myself so I often do my own cooking. What kind of food would you like to eat if a woman cooks for you? By the way, my specialties are stews, chikuzenni, and any food that are easy to prepare.
*Chikuzenni is a dish of braised chicken and vegetables, usually of taro root, yams, shiitake mushrooms, lotus roots, carrots, etc. Often eaten during New Year.
HiroC: I like stews. And if a woman cooks it for me, I’ll feel happy.
HiroC: I think this applies to both men and women. If someone makes a meal for them, of course they’ll feel happy. Something more special than a ready-made meal.
OnoD: And, uhm… Didn’t you say that you like standing shabu-shabu before? (Refer to Episode 5)
HiroC: Ahaha! I didn’t say that I “like” it.
HiroC: I have no choice, so I do it.
OnoD: I’m imagining what if a woman tells you, “Let’s have standing shabu-shabu today!”
HiroC: That will be so sad!
OnoD: Too sad!
HiroC: But if there’s two of us eating standing shabu-shabu, maybe it’s gonna be more enjoyable.
OnoD: Yeah, maybe.
HiroC: And if there are two of us eating, I’ll buy a gas stove.
OnoD: You’ll properly buy one this time, right?
HiroC is so adorable! Ahaha. So he’ll only buy a portable gas stove when he has someone to eat with, huh?
OnoD: As for me, I like noodles so if there’s a woman who can hand-pull noodles—
OnoD: —and go BANG BANG BANG with it…
HiroC: So old-fashioned.
They do some more funny noodle-making sound effects, likening them to Kinnikuman and Ramenman. And OnoD adds that he would like someone to make him toshomen at home where a katana would be used to cut the noodles and then tossed into a nabe. Toshomen is hand-cut Chinese noodles. OnoD says that there aren’t a lot of this kind of noodle experts even in China. HiroC counters that since there aren’t a lot of these experts in China, he shouldn’t expect that there would be any in Japan either. So funny.
OnoD: If I met a woman who can do that, I’ll fall in love then and there.
HiroC: You’ll fall in love?
OnoD: Yeah. If she can make toshomen.
HiroC: Only if she can make toshomen? Eh? You have awfully high standards, oy. You’re a maniac.
Oh my gosh, OnoD. You’re so funny.
Dear Girl Jouhou
The Animelo Newcomer Seiyuu Audition by Animelo and Dwango will commence. Starting October, there will be open auditions for web radios and web TV’s. For 6 months, the participants will be challenged in different ways.
HiroC announces that both of them should participate because then they would be guaranteed work for 6 whole months. So funny! OnoD agrees, but he tells HiroC to read the title. It’s an audition for new seiyuus, to which HiroC says that he’s still a newbie. Then HiroC starts inviting ALL seiyuus to audition for the guarantee of work for whole 6 months, instead of focusing on new seiyuu who are aiming to achieve their dreams. So funny!
They feature the manga Rin! Otoko Zuka-bu (凛！ヲトコヅカ部) by Imamoto Jion (今本次音) from Sylph Comics Vol. 4.
HiroC comments that Imamoto-sensei’s name “Jion” sounds very Chinese. And of course, he (as usual) makes a Gundam reference. Hint: search for the Gundam term “New Zeon” which is pronounced as “Neo Jion” in Japanese. He adds this to the Dear Gun-Ota Stories.
Imamoto Jion-sensei’s Futsuu Story:
I bought a pet cat, but last winter I thought that my cat was my fur slippers so I stepped on the poor cat so badly. As a result, he won’t come to me anymore whenever I call. He responds when my sister calls him, but when it’s me, he’d ignore my existence. What should I do to regain my cat’s trust?
As usual, HiroC observes that this is such an inapproriate problem for the corner, so he demands why do they keep featuring this kind of letters. Suwa responds that he wants to help the mangaka solve their problems, no matter what they are because after all, this is DEAR GIRL ~STORIES~. And since this is about cats, everyone turns to HiroC as the resident cat expert.
OnoD: Have you ever had this kind of experience with Nyanko-sensei?
HiroC: Of course.
HiroC: I stepped on Nyanko-sensei’s tail before.
OnoD: Oh! So that happens to you, too.
HiroC: Yes, so recently he wouldn’t come to me when I call either.
OnoD: Oh no. Oh no. May I ask how many times you stepped on his tail before?
HiroC: Well, a number of times.
OnoD: That’s not good, right?
HiroC: Yeah. So I wonder what should we do when this happens.
OnoD: Ohoho. You’re asking me? I don’t know. Ahaha. Eh. But this has also happened to me before. It’s not that I hate cats per se, I’m just not good with them.
HiroC: But you know, if you’re not good with them, I think it’s a good challenge to try winning them over.
OnoD: Yes, so I think that this problem of trying to win a cat’s trust will also be helpful for someone like me.
In order to practice how to win a cat’s trust, they bring out a cat doll to practice on. OnoD notices that the toy they have before them resembles the one they used during the episode where HiroC was absent. Refer to Episode 18. It was the episode where Sugita filled in for HiroC and he and OnoD tried playing dads to their imaginary babies. HiroC insists that it was just OnoD’s imagination. So funny!
HiroC says that if the cat doesn’t like what they’re doing it’s going to cry. OnoD starts.
OnoD’s Cat Communication
OnoD: Ah, ah. What are you doing in this rain?
HiroC: Eh? What’s with this situation?
Cat Doll: Meow.
OnoD: Ah. There, there. I wonder what your meow means. Okay, okay.
Cat Doll: Meow, meow.
OnoD: In order to understand cats better, I’ll do this like HiroC. I’ll rub you with my fingers. How is it?
Cat Doll: Meow!
OnoD: Oh! What does that meow mean? It’s hard to figure it out.
Cat Doll: Meow~ Meow~ Meow, meow!
OnoD: Oh, I see. I smell good? I see. You like how I smell? Of course you do. I just rubbed your tummy.
HiroC: No, he doesn’t like you.
OnoD: He’s not liking it? I see. I understand now. After this, I’ll feed you Max Coffee.
OnoD: It’s sweet, you know!
Cat Doll: Meow!
Cat Doll: Meow!
OnoD: Oh! Are you happy? You like it?
Cat Doll: Meow~ Meow~
HiroC: Try holding the cat.
OnoD: Hold it, right? What’s your name? Tell me.
Cat Doll: Meow.
HiroC: You name it, Ono-san.
OnoD: What should I name you?
Cat Doll: Meow! Meow, meow~
HiroC: (talking to Suwa) Oh! Oh… So its name is Sylph the Nya.
Cat Doll: Meow~ Meow~
OnoD: Oh, so you’re Sylph-chan! Are you female or male?
HiroC: Please stop that.
OnoD: Let’s take a look at your privates.
HiroC: Ugh. Stop!
OnoD: You’re a girl!
OnoD: I still can’t understand what your meows mean, but you’re cute. So cute.
Sylph-chan: Meo— (stops)
OnoD: Huh? What’s wrong? What’s wrong?!
Sylph-chan: (no response)
OnoD: What’s wrong?
Sylph-chan: (still no response)
OnoD: Sylph?! SYLPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HiroC: AHAHAHAHA! (claps) THE END!
OnoD: (sighs in relief)
HiroC: Ono-san, what happened in the end?
OnoD: (chuckles) Uhm, it died.
*Max Coffee is by the brand Georgia sold by the Coca-Cola Company.
OnoD then asks HiroC to demonstrate how he talks to his own cat Nyanko-sensei at home.
HiroC’s Cat Communication
HiroC: Kitty, what’s wrong? Here, kitty kitty. Kitty, come here~
Sylph-chan: Meow! (loud purrs)
It seems that HiroC is also petting the cat doll like a real cat, impressing OnoD and even reminding HiroC that it’s just a doll. But HiroC continues his adorable talking to the cat doll. So cute! It’s like HiroC is talking to a baby. And in the end the cat’s meows turn to a lion’s roar. Rawr! Ahaha.
OnoD asks HiroC what kind of relationship he has with his cat, Nyanko-sensei. HiroC says that whenever he’s in the living room, Nyanko-sensei would move and sleep on the bed in his room. When HiroC goes to the bedroom, Nyanko-sensei would look at him annoyingly and move back to the living room sofa. OnoD asks whether Nyanko-sensei trusts HiroC and with hesitation, HiroC says that yes, Nyanko-sensei trusts him. HiroC cutely screams at OnoD for doubting his relationship with Nyanko-sensei, prompting OnoD to say that with this kind of reaction, it feels like they shouldn’t trust HiroC’s cat advice.
So this is HiroC’s advice as a fellow cat lover to Imamoto-sensei.
HiroC: It seems that my Nyanko-sensei hates me as well, so don’t feel bad about your own cat problems.
So funny! I’m laughing so hard. HiroC continues talking in the background with his cat talk. Ahaha!
I also read in some fan sites that around the time of this episode is the audition for the anime Natsume Yuujinchou (夏目友人帳). And of course, HiroC got the lead role. Some fan sites are saying that the god of cats blessed him to get the role. It was to his advantage that he’s a known cat lover. Not surprising.
HiroC continues to use his cute cat voice. So adorable! They promote the upcoming Akihabara Enta Matsuri (Entertainment Festival) where video games will be featured and launched, manga will be autographed by the artists, and seiyuu will perform on live events.
They joke that if ever Nyanko-sensei would guest in the show, HiroC would act as his manager. So funny.
They invite you to e-mail them at firstname.lastname@example.org
What a hilarious and adorable episode. HiroC is so cute, while OnoD is so awkwardly funny. I hope that you enjoyed this episode as much as I did.
And that’s it for the 27th episode of DGS.
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