Dear Girl ~Stories~ Episode 31 Recap & Selected Translations
by Arria Cross
Ep. 31 Title: 浩史は大きいものが怖い。象とか。 (Hiroshi wa ookiimono ga kowai. Zou to ka. / Hiroshi is scared of big creatures. Like elephants.)
The 31st episode starts. They talk about the arrival of the fall season, which they call “Autumn Talk”. They start by naming foods that are usually associated with the fall season: kurigohan (chestnut rice), sanma (pike fish), kinmokusei (sweet olive). HiroC reveals that he doesn’t like the fall season because the days are getting shorter compared to summer, making him feel lonely.
OnoD then says that he likes being alone, so he doesn’t really feel that lonely. He listens to songs on his digital music player like “Akizakura Cosmos” (秋桜～コスモス～). By the way, this is a sad song released in the 1970’s by Yamaguchi Momoe (山口百恵). It’s quite lovely, actually. Although a bit heartbreaking when you listen to it. HiroC laughs at him because OnoD’s solitary activity sounds so lonely. So funny.
HiroC warns everyone to be careful of “Autumn’s Trap” which plunges people into loneliness.
OnoD: Hiroshi wa ookiimono ga kowai. Zou to ka. (Hiroshi is scared of big creatures. Like elephants.)
HiroC: Ahaha! Yes, they’re scary. Whales also scare me.
Sent by Hachiko, read by HiroC:
Nice to meet you, Nekoshi-san and Inusuke-san! This is my first time writing to you. Similar to the mail about bears in Hokkaido in a previous episode, I want to go to Kochi. Is there anything dangerous in Kochi? If there is danger in Kochi, will honey help prevent it too? Please let me know.
Refer to Episode 27.
OnoD is from Kochi Prefecture.
“Nekoshi” is a play on the “shi” in Hiroshi’s name and “neko” (cat), while “Inusuke” is a play on the “suke” in Daisuke and “inu” (dog). HiroC loves cats, while OnoD loves dogs.
OnoD: Ahahaha. Ahahaha. Yes, honey can prevent danger.
HiroC: It can?
HiroC: I haven’t been to Kochi yet…
OnoD: All dangers can be solved by honey.
HiroC: Honey can do that?
Oh, OnoD. So funny. HiroC comments that if there’s OnoD and honey, danger can be prevented. Ahaha!
OnoD: If there’s any danger in Kochi, then it’s definitely skipjack tuna.
HiroC: Skipjack tuna is dangerous?
OnoD: Well, you know…
OnoD: You don’t know how dangerous the sea can be if you’ve never experienced it yourself.
HiroC: Yes. Yes, yes.
OnoD: The sea can be unpredictable.
OnoD says that when fishermen use rods to catch skipjack tuna, they need to be quick and agile in hauling them onto their boats. If not, skipjack tuna could jump one after another onto boats at high velocity, putting the riders in the boats in danger. That’s why, according to OnoD, one can cover their boats and themselves with honey so that when the tuna comes flying at high velocity, they will just slide smoothly because of the honey. Ahaha!
HiroC: Then if we stand behind a honey-covered Ono-kun, then the tuna missile would be deflected?
OnoD: Yes! Tuna missile…ahaha!
HiroC: Is that so? There you have it, Hachiko-san.
OnoD: Everything will be alright.
HiroC: When you go to Kochi, make sure to take some honey and Ono-kun with you.
HiroC: This way, you won’t have to worry about the tuna missile.
OnoD: And don’t underestimate the sea, okay?
Sent by Ginnan, read by OnoD:
Good evening, Kamiya-san and Ono-san. And nice to meet you! This has been on my mind a lot, so I decided to mail you. Both of you keep on saying “I want to be popular”—
HiroC: I want to be popular!!!
But there’s absolutely no way that you’re not popular! What do you think you’re saying when both of you are extremely popular seiyuu?! I’m so baffled by you that I can’t help but laugh. It’s not that you’re unpopular, you just haven’t noticed it. In other words, it’s just the impossible dream phenomenon. I think it’s only a matter of having the mass media show a concrete proof that you’re really popular.
HiroC: Hooooh~ We just haven’t noticed it? MAKE US NOTICE THAT WE’RE POPULAR THEN!!!
OnoD: I know, right?
HiroC: I want to hear more of you say, “Kamiya-san, you’re amazing, you’re wonderful! I love you! Please embrace me!” or something like that.
OnoD: Ahaha! They have to say that?
OnoD: I don’t want to meet someone like that. Scary!
HiroC: I’m just saying that I want to be told so I know for a fact that I’m indeed popular.
Go preach it, Ginnan-san! I’m sure that a lot of us fans share your feelings about this “I want to be popular” nonsense that these two keep on spouting.
HiroC: But when I like or admire someone, I just say it as it is. I say “I like this person” and that’s that.
OnoD: Aaah. So you say it yourself.
OnoD: But I think maybe they don’t believe you.
OnoD: Because they’re probably thinking that you have ulterior motives for telling them you like them. Ahahaha!
HiroC: Is that so?
OnoD: Am I right?
HiroC: That I have ulterior motives?
OnoD: I just have the feeling.
HiroC: So you view me as someone with ulterior motives? I’m so shocked!
OnoD: Just look at how you treat me. Aren’t you always sadistic when it comes to me?
OnoD: What I’m saying is that with your fellow male seiyuu, you’re sadistic with us.
OnoD: But when it comes to female seiyuu, aren’t you kind to them?
HiroC: Yes, I’m kind to them.
OnoD: You’re normally kind to them.
HiroC: Of course, because I want to be treated with kindness by them.
OnoD: This is what I think.
Both: When it comes to ladies…
HiroC: You want me to be sadistic with them like I do with others.
OnoD: Yes, yes!
HiroC: So you just want me to insult them?
OnoD: Yes. You’re gonna be so popular!
HiroC: There’s no way I’m gonna be popular that way. Are you an idiot?!
OnoD: Ginnan-san says that we just haven’t noticed…
HiroC: Ginnan-san says that we’re already popular but we just haven’t noticed it. THEN please let us know clearly!!!
They ask everyone to make it clear during their upcoming public recording event. They want everyone to scream and shout their love for them. Then they wonder if there are guys attending, will they scream and shout too? Ahaha! So funny. Instead of cute, the screams and shouts would be scary instead. They emphasize that the event is “Dear GIRL”, not “Dear BOY”.
An exciting announcement: their first ever DGS CD’s release is now finalized! It will be released on Wednesday, December 19 that year (2007) for an affordable price of ¥2300.
Dear Girl Jouhou
Voting starts for the 2nd Seiyuu Awards next year (2008). Categories include Best Actor in Leading Role, Best Actress in Leading Role, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Rookie Actor, Best Rookie Actress, Best Musical Performance, Best Personality and others.
They feature the manga Omamori no Kamisama (おまもりのかみさま) by Kosugi Mayu (小杉繭) from Sylph Comics Volume 4.
Kosugi Mayu-sensei’s Futsu Sto:
I love Pino ice cream chocolates. I heard that there’s one special star-shaped Pino in some packs. It seems that this star-shaped Pino is a wishing star, so if you happen to open and find one, your wish might come true. I certainly want to find one of these wish-granting Pino, but it seems that the probability of actually finding one is very low. That’s why I have a request from both of you. I wonder how many Pino I need to eat before I find a star-shaped one. Please investigate the probability for me!
HiroC: So that’s why there’s a bunch of Pino in front of us. I thought it weird that they’re brought as snacks for us. I was thinking, “Why Pino? Why so many of the same kind?”
OnoD: It’s like PINO PINO PINO PINO PINO PINO! Ahaha.
HiroC: Right? So that’s why! What the heck?
Pino is a popular brand of chocolate-covered ice cream. Normally, they’re shaped like “truncated pine cones” according to the manufacturer and come in a box of six pieces.
HiroC: Ono-kun, have you ever found a star-shaped Pino before?
OnoD: I have.
HiroC: Ah, so you have!
OnoD: I don’t really eat Pino that much, but when I bought one that time, I found a star-shaped one.
HiroC: Then this makes it quick. We can just say that it’s possible and end the corner now.
OnoD: Yes, it’s possible. Ah! Ahaha. But she’s asking us to “investigate the probability” so….
HiroC: Ah, is that so?
So their task for this episode is to open all the Pino boxes in front of them and try to find a lucky star-shaped Pino. But since they don’t want to waste any of the regular Pino that have been opened, they need to eat every single one. If they do this, however, they might have stomachaches so someone is going to help them eat everything.
HiroC: Following after our previous guest last last week, Nikumura Yuuichi-kun, and last week’s Editor-in-Chief guest—
HiroC: We have a guest again today.
OnoD: An exclusive guest!
HiroC: Yes. A wonderful guest has joined us.
OnoD: I wonder who it is. I’m so excited.
HiroC: Bunka Housou’s exclusive big eater talent, Kobayashi Chanko Chanko-san!
Both: AHAHAHA!!! (clapping)
OnoD: Who? Who is he?
HiroC: (laughing) He’s Kobayashi Chanko Chanko-san.
OnoD: Alright. Kobayashi Chanko Chanko-san is here.
HiroC: (laughing) Welcome!
Chanko: Good evening.
HiroC: Good evening… (laughing)
Chanko: My name is Kobayashi Chanko Chanko.
Kobayashi Youhei (小林洋平). Affectionately called by both HiroC & OnoD as Chanko Chanko-chan. He is a broadcasting writer who graduated from A&G Creative School.
HiroC: Are you an employee of Bunka Housou?
HiroC: Ah, no?
HiroC: So you were called here today just to do this?
HiroC: (laughing) Yes? Thank you very much.
OnoD: It looks like he was eagerly waiting for his turn today.
Chanko: You’re right. Because I’m hungry.
HiroC: Ah, he’s hungry! This may be insenstive but we’re going to have to describe what you look like for the sake of our listeners.
OnoD: Chanko Chanko!
HiroC: By the way, Kobayashi-kun, what’s your weight in kilograms?
Chanko: From 140 to 150 kg.
HiroC: What’s with the 10-kilo difference?
OnoD: 10 kilos!
HiroC: Isn’t that weird?
HiroC says that compared to women who get a kilo heavier, they only usually lose 500 grams of it. Chanko says that when he doesn’t eat at home, he loses 4 kg. The two laugh so hard, clapping, and praising Chanko.
Finally, they start opening the Pino boxes and eating them. They open several but all of them contain only regular Pinos. They haven’t found any star-shaped ones yet. They ask Chanko how it is and he replies that they’re delicious. OnoD observes that Chanko just keeps on opening, eating, and then drinking without describing or commenting on what he’s doing.
HiroC: This should be enough now, right? I want to find that star-shaped one as soon as possible. We’re not going to find one, are we? There won’t be any in all these boxes, right?
OnoD: Don’t stop now. HiroC, you haven’t eaten anything yet.
HiroC: I am eating. I’m eating but—(coughs) I’m eating. How many Pino boxes are we eating?
HiroC’s so cute complaining. He keeps on coughing to clear his throat. It’s obvious that he’s not optimistic in finding a star-shaped Pino even if they eat everything. He announces that so far the probability is at 54 to 0.
Chanko: I want shichimi.
HiroC: Ah, you want shichimi?
HiroC: It seems that Chanko Chanko wants shichimi. He wants something spicy.
OnoD: Pino and shichimi together?
Shichimi is a common Japanese spice mixture containing seven ingredients.
OnoD: Chanko Chanko-san, what do you usually do for work?
HiroC: Yes, what do you do for work?
Chanko: My job is being fat.
OnoD: Don’t say that!
HiroC: You can be like that and eat as a livelihood?
OnoD: You’re a pro fattie?
HiroC: That’s an awesome job! Ah, you ate them all? Thank you very much. One last time.
OnoD: This is the last box, right?
HiroC: It’s the last one.
(opening last Pino)
HiroC: Aaaaah! Here it is!
Both: We did it! We did it!
OnoD: Thank you!
HiroC: Thank you! Take a picture! Take a picture of it! There it is!
OnoD: We did it! Amazing!
HiroC: What a—
OnoD: It’s the tenth.
HiroC: We found it on the tenth box!
Chanko: We found it, right?
HiroC: Chanko Chanko, thank you very much!
OnoD: You’re amazing, Chanko Chanko!
HiroC: If it were just the two of us, we wouldn’t be able to finish all of these in time. Then the wish! The wish! Ono-kun, wish for something!
OnoD: Then…then I wish that this show would be able to continue for a long time in the future.
HiroC: I wish that we won’t get sick. How about you, Chanko Chanko? Wish for anything you like.
OnoD: Chanko Chanko, make a wish.
Chanko: Then I wish for 1000 grams of hayashi rice.
Hayashi rice is hashed beef rice.
So the results is that there is 1 in every 10 boxes or 1 in 60 pieces. Then OnoD says that there’s the danger of struggling to finish all 10 boxes, especially without someone like Chanko Chanko to help eat. HiroC suggests to Kosugi-sensei to consider eating one box per day instead.
They talk about how the god of radio shows must have blessed them for them to be able to find such a rare item as the star-shaped Pino in the last box. It is indeed a miracle. HiroC reveals that everyone in the studio including their producer gave a standing ovation when they found the star-shaped Pino.
They invite you to e-mail them at email@example.com
Hmmm…I’m just thinking that this might be one of the reasons why DGS has lasted so long until now. OnoD has wished for it with a star-shaped Pino! Ahahaha! A miracle, indeed. Although I cringed a bit whenever they laughed because of Chanko’s weight, it’s fun listening the three of them having a great time. As always, what a fun episode! I hope that you enjoyed it as much as I did.
And that’s it for the 31st episode of DGS.
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